WOOD. (_taking the letter_) Say? why--that you made a mistake in the handwriting--that it wasn't Larkings's after all!--but somebody else's!--anybody's--(_suddenly_)--_Mine!_ LARK. _and_ } } Yours? SWANS. } WOOD. Yes! What's the consequence? When it's known that you and I have been fighting, no one will imagine it's on account of Mrs. Swansdown, consequently her reputation will be saved! SWANS. True! but zounds then! what have we been fighting about? WOOD. Eh? oh, for the fun of the thing! or else some difference of opinion--(_suddenly_)--the war in America! that's the very thing! you're for the Federates! I'm for the Confederals!--that'll do famously--it'll save _you_ (_to SWANSDOWN_) from being laughed at; _you_ (_to LARKINGS_) from being buried alive in the country. SWANS. } } And you? LARK. } WOOD. Never mind me. Woodcock's got a little game of his own. (_aside_) It's a capital idea--a sublime idea! (_to SWANSDOWN_) Now go home; and spread the report of our duel right and left; mention it at your butcher's, baker's, and candlestick maker's--in short everywhere; and don't forget you're a Confederal--I mean--never mind; go along. _SWANSDOWN hurries out at L._ LARK. But I say, what the deuce is to become of me in the matter? WOOD. Eh? I have it; you've been my second. LARK. Very well? then I can go to Mrs. Larkings. WOOD. Yes. Stop! take that sling off. LARK. Well, but---- WOOD. Take it off, I say! LARK. (_taking off sling and fitting his arm in his waistcoat, with evident pain_) There! and now give me that confounded letter of mine. WOOD. Oh dear, no! I can't spare that. (_taking letter out of envelope and reading_) "To see you is to love you." (_aside_) And to think I've got to copy such twaddle as that. (_listening_) Hark! I hear some one. You know what you've got to do; don't go and make a mess of it. (_aside_) And I got married to settle down quietly--it looks like it! Never mind; Woodcock's got his little game! _Hurries out at L._ _Enter MRS. LARKINGS and MRS. CARVER, C._ LARK. (_assuming an air of unconcern_) Ah, my dear! MRS. L. (_R.--extending her arm_) Keep your distance, sir. I know all--all! In a word, I am now going to Mr. Swansdown's--you hear--to Mr. Swansdown's, for a certain letter--a love letter, sir, written by you to Mrs. Swansdown. LARK. (_C._) By me! Ha, ha, ha! I should like to see it. Go and fetch it, my dear; why don't you go for it, my love? Tra, la, la! (_humming a tune_) _Enter DAVID, L._ DAVID. (_to MRS. LARKINGS_) Please, ma'am. (_aside_) Don't let me forget what master told me to say. (_aloud_) Here be a letter, ma'am, from Mr. Swan--Swan---- MRS. L. (_eagerly_) Swansdown? give it me? (_snatching letter from DAVID, but keeping her eyes fixed on LARKINGS, who tries to appear unconcerned, and endeavours to get up a whistle_) You may go, David! _Exit DAVID, L._