Woodcock's Little Game: A Comedy-Farce, In Two Acts — John Shaqi
Woodcock's Little Game: A Comedy-Farce, In Two ActsMorton, John Maddison
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Woodcock's Little Game: A Comedy-Farce, In Two Acts
Morton, John Maddison
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
DAVID. So he opens it, ma'am, and--(_to LARKINGS who is making violent
signs to him to hold his tongue_) What's the matter, sir? (_MRS.
LARKINGS turns towards LARKINGS, who again tries to get up a whistle_)
MRS. L. But why bring it to our home?
DAVID. Because it's Mr. Larkings's card case, ma'am!
MRS. L. (_to LARKINGS, suspiciously_) So you've been to Primrose Hill,
it seems?
LARK. (_bothered_) Yes--the fact is--the rooms were so hot--and--never
having seen the sun set--I mean the moon rise--I--(_aside_) I'd better
hold my tongue.
MRS. L. (_after a searching look at him_) Where did the man say he
picked this card case up?
DAVID. Where the shooting took place, ma'am.
MRS. L. The shooting?
DAVID. Yes, ma'am. (_seeing LARKINGS again making signals to him_)
Yes, sir! (_MRS. LARKINGS looks round and LARKINGS again assumes an
air of unconcern_) He heard two shots, ma'am--bang, bang; and ran to
the spot just in time to see three gentlemen walking off; and----
(_during this LARKINGS has been again repeating his signals to
him_)
MRS. L. You can go, David.
_Exit DAVID, at L._
Larkings! (_eagerly to him_) what does this mean? Speak,
Christopher--what has happened? (_grasping LARKINGS'S arm, who makes a
grimace_) Ah! you needn't explain; I see it all--there has been a
duel?
LARK. (_L._) Well----
MRS. L. (_C._) Don't speak; between Mr. Swansdown and you.
LARK. No, no.
MRS. L. Who then? He believed that _you_ wrote the letter to his wife?
LARK. Yes, yes.
MRS. L. And challenged you?
LARK. Yes, yes.
MRS. L. And you fought?
LARK. Yes--no, no.
MRS. L. Yes, yes--no, no. Explain! No! I see it all.
LARK. (_aside_) She's always seeing it all! (_crosses to R._)
MRS. L. When you got on the ground, Mr. Woodcock, who was probably
your second----
LARK. My second! yes--exactly.
MRS. L. Confessed that he was the real culprit----
LARK. (_quickly_) That's it.
MRS. L. And received Mr. Swansdown's fire----
LARK. In the arm.
MRS. L. Wounded! Mr. Woodcock wounded!
LARK. Yes. (_recollecting_) No; that is---- (_aside_) Zounds! nothing
was said about _that._
MRS. L. Poor Mr. Woodcock! Which arm was it?
LARK. Eh--why--the arm that held the sword!
MRS. L. The sword!
LARK. Yes--no, I mean the pistol! (_aside_) Now to find Woodcock, and
put him on his guard. (_turns and sees WOODCOCK, who enters at L.,
with his left arm in a sling--aside_) Huzzah! he's got his arm in a
sling!
MRS. L. (_looking at WOODCOCK, who comes slowly forward, as if very
much ashamed of himself_) It is true, then. Unhappy man, I pity you!
WOOD. (_assuming a very penitential voice and manner_) I don't deserve
it.
LARK. (_aside_) Confound it! he's got the _wrong_ arm in the sling!
Ahem! (_making violent signs to WOODCOCK to change arms_)
MRS. L. (_looking at WOODCOCK_) Why, how's this? (_to LARKINGS_) You
told me Mr. Woodcock's wound was in the right arm!
LARK. (_confused, R._) Did I?
MRS. L. Yes--you distinctly said "the arm that held the pistol."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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