Tears were choking him, and their sobs mingled. That battle between
brother and sister, both so artless and so loving, was fraught with the
most exquisite fraternal affection. In a tone of intense compassion,
blended with boundless kindliness, Jordan repeated: 'You will resign
yourself; you will resign yourself.'
She still protested, but like one who is surrendering. Her moan now was
that of a poor, stricken creature whose hurt one strives to soothe:
'Oh, no! I cannot, I do not resign myself.'
* * * * *
As it happened, Luc that very day was to take _déjeuner_ with the
Jordans, and when at half-past eleven he joined the brother and sister
in the laboratory, he found them still agitated, with red, blurred
eyes. But he himself was so distressed, so downcast, that he noticed
nothing. Josine's farewell, the necessity of that separation, filled
him with despair. The severance of the love which he deemed essential
for his mission seemed to deprive him of his last strength. If he did
not save Josine he would never save the unhappy multitude to whom he
had given his heart. And that day, from the moment of rising, all the
obstacles which hindered his advance had risen up before him like
insurmountable impediments. A black vision of La Crêcherie had appeared
to him. La Crêcherie on the path to ruin, wrecked already, to such a
point indeed that it was madness to hope to save it. Men devoured one
another there; it had been impossible to establish brotherly accord
between them; every human fatality weighed upon the enterprise. And
thus, bowed down by the most frightful discouragement he had ever
known, Luc lost his faith. The heroism within him wavered; he was
almost on the point of renouncing his task, fearing as he did that
defeat was near at hand.
Sœurette noticed his perturbation directly she saw him, and, with
divine solicitude, she expressed her anxiety: 'Are you not well, my
friend?' she asked him.
'No, I do not feel well,' he answered. 'I spent an awful morning. I
have heard of nothing but misfortunes since I rose.'
She did not insist, but gazed at him with increasing anxiety, wondering
what his sufferings could be, since he loved and was loved in return.
To hide in some slight degree her own intense emotion, she had seated
herself at her little table, and pretended to be writing out some notes
for her brother; whilst the latter, who now seemed overwhelmed, again
lay back in his arm-chair.
'In that case, my good Luc,' said he, 'none of us is any better off
than the others; for if I felt well enough when I got up this morning,
I have since had no end of worry.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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