He stared at me, as though surprised, and then laughed harshly.
“Pluck? What’s that? I’m scared stiff, half the time. Do you think I
like it?”
He seemed to get angry, was angry, I think.
“Do any of us like it? These damn things that blow men to bits, make
rags of them, tear their bowels out, and their eyes? Or to live on top
of a mine-crater, as we are now, never knowing when you’re going up in
smoke and flame? If you like that sort of thing yourself you can take
my share. I have never met a man who did.”
Yet when Brand was taken out of the trenches--by a word spoken over the
telephone from corps Headquarters--because of his knowledge of German
and his cousinship to a lady who was a friend of the Corps Commander’s
niece, he was miserable and savage. I met him many times after that as
an Intelligence officer at the corps cages, examining prisoners on days
of battle.
“An _embusqué_ job!” he said. “I’m saving my skin while the youngsters
die.”
He stood outside his hut one day on a morning of battle in the Somme
fields--up by Pozières. No prisoners had yet come down. He forgot my
presence and stood listening to the fury of gun-fire and watching the
smoke and flame away there on the ridge.
“Christ!” he cried. “Why am I here? Why aren’t I with my pals up there,
getting blown to blood and pulp? Blood and pulp! Blood and pulp!”
Then he remembered me, and turned in a shamefaced way, and said,
“Sorry!... I feel rather hipped to-day.”
I was present sometimes at his examination of prisoners--those poor
grey muddy wretches who come dazed out of the slime and shambles.
Sometimes he bullied them harshly, in fluent German, and they trembled
at his ferocity of speech, even whimpered now and then. But once or
twice he was in quite a different mood with them and spoke gently,
assenting when they cursed the war and its misery and said that all
they wanted was peace and home again.
“Aren’t you fellows going to revolt?” he asked one man--a _Feldwebel_.
“Aren’t you going to tell your war lords to go to Hell and stop all
this silly massacre before Germany is _kaput_?”
The German shrugged his shoulders.
“We would if we could. It is impossible. Discipline is too strong for
us. It has enslaved us.”
“That’s true,” said Brand. “You are slaves of a system.”
He spoke a strange sentence in English as he glanced over to me.
“I am beginning to think we are all slaves of a system. None of us can
break the chains.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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