"What does this mean?" said Walter Joyce, when he reached his own room
and was dressing for dinner. "These people have been more civil than I
could have expected them to be to a man in my position, and Lord
Hetherington especially has been kindness itself; but they have always
treated me as what I am--'his lordship's secretary.' Whence this new
recognition? One comfort is that, thanks to old Jack Byrne's
generosity, I can make a decent appearance at their table. I laughed
when he insisted on providing me with dress-clothes, but he knew
better. 'They can't do you any harm, my boy,' I recollect his saying,
'and they may do you some good;' and now I see how right he was. Fancy
my going into society, and beginning at this phase of it I wonder
whether Marian would be pleased? I wonder----"
And he sat down on the edge of his bed and fell into a dreamy
abstracted state; the effect caused by Marian's last long letter was
upon him yet. He had answered it strongly--far more strongly than he
had ever written to her before--pointing out that, at the outset, they
had never imagined that life's path was to be made smooth and easy to
them; they had always known that they would have to struggle; and that
it was specially unlike her to fold her hands and beg for the
unattainable, simply because she saw it in the possession of other
people. "She dared not tell him how little hope for the future she
had." That was a bad sign indeed. In their last parting walk round the
garden of the old schoolhouse at Helmingham she had hinted something
of this, and he thought he had silenced her on the point; but her want
of hope, her abnegation of interest, was now much more pronounced; and
against such a feeling he inveighed with all the strength and power of
his honest soul. If she gave in, what was to become of him, whose
present discomforts were only made bearable by anticipation of the
time when he would have her to share his lot?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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