any longer, his thoughts had completely unmanned him, and he longed
for solitude. If it were rude to leave the party he must brave even
Lady Hetherington's wrath, but he would try and get away unobserved.
Now, while the hum of admiration was still going on, and while people
were gathering round Lady Caroline, was the opportunity. He availed
himself of it, slipped away unperceived, and hurried to his own room.
He closed the door behind him, turned the key, and flung himself on to
the bed, in the dark. He felt that he could contain himself no longer,
and now that he was alone and unseen, there was no further reason to
restrain the tears which had been welling into his eyes, and now
flowed unchecked down his cheeks. He was a man of nervous temperament,
highly wrought susceptibilities, and acute sympathies, which had
been over-excited during the evening by the story of Tom Creswell's
death, his own recollections of his past life, and the weird
thought-compelling power of Lady Caroline's music. There was no
special occasion for these tears; he knew nothing had happened to
Marian, nothing--no, nothing had happened calculated in any way to
interpose any--any barrier between them; his position was pleasant,
his prospects brighter than he could have hoped--and yet, and yet! How
very strange that she had not written lately!--unless, indeed, she had
been completely absorbed by ministering to the trouble round her.
Walter could easily picture to himself the comfort she must have been
to all in the midst of the desolation which had fallen upon that
hitherto prosperous house; he recollected how even in the midst of her
own deep sorrow she had been able, at the time of her father's death,
to rouse her mother from the lethargic state of grief into which she
had fallen; and if Marian could do that then, while her own heart was
bleeding, how much more would she be able to bestir herself now, when
neither for the dead, nor for those left behind, had she anything but
a kindly interest? And might not this sad event prove a useful lesson
to her; might it not prove the one thing needful to render her a
perfect character, showing her, as it would, that there are worse
misfortunes than poverty, and that grief can slip in behind the
shields of wealth and position, and abase the heads of their
possessors to the dust? That longing for money and worship of position
was the only blot in Marian's character, as seen by Walter Joyce's
eyes, and if this accident led to its eradication, it would not have
been without its beneficent purpose.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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