He rose from the bed, and felt his way towards his dressing-table. As
he was groping for the matches, his hand fell upon an unopened letter.
From Marian, without a doubt; he felt his heart throbbing; at once he
struck a light and looked hurriedly for the familiar writing. No, not
from Marian! Totally unlike her square neatly written notes; a large
blue letter, directed in a straggling hand, and awkwardly folded.
Though Joyce was disappointed and, vexed for an instant, he quickly
recovered himself, and he took the letter up and smiled at it
pleasantly, for he had recognised the style and the writing, and he
knew that it had come from old Jack Byrne.
Thus it ran:
"London, Thursday.
"MY DEAR BOY,
"You'll wonder I haven't answered that capital letter you
sent me, giving a description of Westhope and its people, and your
life there. You'll wonder, because you are young; when you're as old
as I am you won't wonder at anything, except when you sometimes find a
man tell the truth; but you shouldn't wonder then, because it would
only be an accident. I am very glad that you seem to be so comfortable
among the swells, but I never had much fear about it. I know them root
and branch, the whole lot, though I'm only an old bird-stuffer; but
I'm like Ulysses, I've seen men and cities, and used my eyes--used 'em
so much that, by Jove! I don't think they'll last me much longer--at
least, for the fine work in my business. What was I saying? Oh, I see;
I know the swells, and I know that if they see a man respect himself
they always respect him. All of 'em, sir; don't make any mistake about
it. All of 'em, the most ineffable transparencies, who think you're
sewn up and stuffed in quite a different way from themselves, the
kindly noodles, and the clever people--for there are clever people, a
few, even among swells--all like to see a man respect himself. You'll
have found out by this time, if you did not know it before, that Lord
Hetherington is one of the kindly noodles, and one of the best of 'em.
He can't help believing in his blood, and his lineage, and his descent
from those bloodthirsty, ignorant old ruffians of the Middle Ages,
whose only good was that they killed other bloodthirsty, ignorant old
ruffians, and he can't help being a fool, that being the penalty which
a man generally has to pay for being able to boast of his descent; but
he is harmless and kind-hearted. How goes on the book? Take my advice,
and make it light and anecdotical. Boil down those old chronicles and
parchments of the great West family, and serve them up in a
_soufflet_.
And don't let your heavy pedagogical style be seen in the dish! If you
do, everybody will know at once that my lord has had nothing to do
with the book on the title-page of which his name figures. I suppose
it wouldn't do to put in any bad spelling, would it? That would be
immensely reassuring to all who know Lord Hetherington as to the real
authorship.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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