have poun's and poun's before she'd say 'yea' and buckle to!"
But that was a matter which Marian had already decided upon.
CHAPTER IV.
MARIAN'S CHOICE.
At a time when it seemed as though the unchildlike qualities which had
distinguished the child from her playmates and coevals were
intensifying and maturing in the girl growing up, then, to all
appearance, hard, calculating, and mercenary, Marian Ashurst fell in
love, and thenceforward the whole current of her being was diverted
into healthier and more natural channels. Fell in love is the right
and the only description of the process so far as Marian was
concerned. Of course she had frequently discussed the great question
which racks the hearts of boarding-school misses, and helps to fill up
the spare time of middle-aged women, with her young companions, had
listened with outward calmness and propriety, but with an enormous
amount of unshown cynicism, to their simple gushings, and had said
sufficient to lead them to believe that she joined in their fervent
admiration of and aspiration for young men with black eyes and white
hands, straight noses and curly hair. But all the time Marian was
building for herself a castle in the air, the proprietor of which,
whose wife she intended to be, was a very different person from the
hairdressers' dummies whose regularity of feature caused the hearts of
her companions to palpitate. The personal appearance of her future
husband had never given her an instant's care; she had no preference
in the colour of his eyes or hair, in his height, style, or even of
his age, except she thought she would rather he were old. Being old,
he was more likely to be generous, less likely to be selfish, more
likely to have amassed riches and to be wealthy. His fortune would be
made, not to be made; there would be no struggling, no self-denial, no
hope required. Marian's domestic experiences caused her to hate
anything in which hope was required; she had been dosed with hope
without the smallest improvement, and had lost faith in the treatment.
Marriage was the one chance possible for her to carry out the dearest,
most deeply implanted, longest-cherished aspiration of her heart--the
acquisition of money and power. She knew that the possession of the
one led to the other; from the time when she had saved her schoolgirl
pennies and had noticed the court paid to her by her little friends,
to the then moment when the mere fact of her having a small stock of
ready money, even more than her sense and shrewdness, gave her
position in that impecunious household, she had recognised the
impossibility of achieving even a semblance of happiness in poverty.
When she married, it should be for money, and for money alone. In the
hard school of life in which she had been trained she had learned that
the prize she was aiming at was a great one, and one difficult to be
obtained; but that knowledge only made her the more determined in its
pursuit.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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