And he, Walter Joyce, did he reciprocate--was he in love with Marian?
Has it ever been your lot to see an ugly or, better still, what is
called an ordinary man--for ugliness has become fashionable both in
fiction and in society--to see an ordinary-looking man, hitherto
politely ignored, if not snubbed, suddenly taken special notice of by
a handsome woman, a recognised leader of the set, who, for some
special purpose of her own, suddenly discovering that he has brains,
or conversational power, or some peculiar fascination, singles him out
from the surrounding ruck, steeps him in the sunlight of her eyes, and
intoxicates him with the subtle wiles of her address? It does one
good, it acts as a moral shower-bath, to see such a man under such
circumstances. Your fine fellow simpers and purrs for a moment, and
takes it all as real legitimate homage to his beauty; but the ordinary
man cannot, so soon as he has got over his surprise at the sensation,
cannot be too grateful, cannot find ways and means--cumbrous
frequently and ungraceful, but eminently sincere--of showing his
appreciation of his patroness. Thus it was with Walter Joyce. The
knowledge that he was a grocer's son had added immensely to the
original shyness and sensitiveness of his disposition, and the free
manner in which his small and delicate personal appearance had been
made the butt of outspoken "chaff" of the schoolboys had made him
singularly misogynistic. Since the early days of his youth, when he
had been compelled to give a very unwilling attendance twice a week at
the dancing academy of Mr. Hardy, where the boys of the Helmingham
Grammar School had their manners softened, nor were suffered to become
brutal, by the study of the Terpsichorean art, in the company of the
young ladies from the Misses Lewin's establishment, Walter Joyce had
resolutely eschewed any and every charge of mixing in female society.
He knew nothing of it, and pretended to despise it. It is needless to
say, therefore, that so soon as he was brought into daily
communication with a girl like Marian Ashurst, possessed both of
beauty and refinement, he fell hopelessly in love with her, and gave
up every thought, idea, and hope, save that in which she bore a part.
She was his goddess, and he would worship her humbly and at a
distance. It would be sufficient for him to touch the hem of her robe,
to hear the sound of her voice, to gaze at her with big dilated eyes,
which--not that he knew it--were eloquent with love, and tenderness,
and worship.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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