When that tremendous blow fell upon her, it stunned the widow. She
could not grieve, she could not care about anything else. She was not
a woman of an imaginative turn of mind; feeling had always been
powerful and deep in her; but fancy had ever been active, so that when
the one awful and overwhelming fact existed, it was quite enough for
her, it swamped everything else, it needed not to bring up any
reinforcements to her discomfiture. She was ready to go anywhere with
Marian, to do anything which Marian advised or directed. The old house
was to be left, a new home was to be sought for. A stranger was coming
to be the master where her husband's firm but gentle rule had made
itself loved, respected, and obeyed for so long; a stranger was to sit
in her husband's seat, and move about the house where his step and his
voice were heard no more, listened for no longer, not even now, in the
first confused moments of waking after the blessed oblivion of sleep.
And in that awful fact all was included. Poor Mrs. Ashurst cared
little for the linen and the china now. Whether they should be packed
up and removed to the humble lodgings which were to be the next home
of herself and her daughter, or whether Mr. Ashurst's successor should
be asked to take them at a valuation, were points which she left to
Marian's decision. She had not any interest in anything of the kind
now. It was time that Marian's mind should be made up on these and
other matters; and the girl, notwithstanding her premature gravity and
her habit of decision, found her task difficult in fact and sentiment.
Her mother was painfully quiescent, hopelessly resigned. In every word
and look she expressed plainly that life had come to a standstill for
her, that she could no longer feel any interest or take any active
part in its conduct; and thus she depressed Marian very much, who had
her own sense of impending disappointment and imperative effort, in
addition to their common sorrow, to struggle against.
Mrs. Ashurst and her daughter had seen a good deal of the family at
Woolgreaves since the day on which Marian's cherished belief in the
value and delight of wealth had been strengthened by that visit to the
splendid dwelling of her father's old friend. The young ladies had
quite "taken to" Mrs. Ashurst, and Mrs. Ashurst had almost "taken to"
them. They came into Helmingham frequently, and never without bringing
welcome contributions from the large and lavishly kept gardens at
Woolgreaves. They tried, in many girlish and unskilful ways, to be
intimate with Marian; but they felt they did not succeed, and only
their perception of their uncle's wishes prevented their giving up the
effort. Marian was very civil, very much obliged for their kindness
and attention; but uncordial, "un-getatable," Maude Creswell aptly
described it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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