Authors -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Women -- Societies and clubs -- Fiction
Mrs. Ballinger winced at the discrimination, but let it pass. “We can
hardly make that our chief subject--at least not _too_ intentionally,”
she suggested. “Of course we can let our talk _drift_ in that direction;
but we ought to have some other topic as an introduction, and that is
what I wanted to consult you about. The fact is, we know so little
of Osric Dane’s tastes and interests that it is difficult to make any
special preparation.”
“It may be difficult,” said Mrs. Plinth with decision, “but it is
necessary. I know what that happy-go-lucky principle leads to. As I told
one of my nieces the other day, there are certain emergencies for which
a lady should always be prepared. It’s in shocking taste to wear colours
when one pays a visit of condolence, or a last year’s dress when there
are reports that one’s husband is on the wrong side of the market; and
so it is with conversation. All I ask is that I should know beforehand
what is to be talked about; then I feel sure of being able to say the
proper thing.”
“I quite agree with you,” Mrs. Ballinger assented; “but--”
And at that instant, heralded by the fluttered parlourmaid, Osric Dane
appeared upon the threshold.
Mrs. Leveret told her sister afterward that she had known at a glance
what was coming. She saw that Osric Dane was not going to meet them
half way. That distinguished personage had indeed entered with an air of
compulsion not calculated to promote the easy exercise of hospitality.
She looked as though she were about to be photographed for a new edition
of her books.
The desire to propitiate a divinity is generally in inverse ratio to its
responsiveness, and the sense of discouragement produced by Osric Dane’s
entrance visibly increased the Lunch Club’s eagerness to please her. Any
lingering idea that she might consider herself under an obligation to
her entertainers was at once dispelled by her manner: as Mrs. Leveret
said afterward to her sister, she had a way of looking at you that made
you feel as if there was something wrong with your hat. This evidence
of greatness produced such an immediate impression on the ladies that a
shudder of awe ran through them when Mrs. Roby, as their hostess led
the great personage into the dining-room, turned back to whisper to the
others: “What a brute she is!”
The hour about the table did not tend to revise this verdict. It was
passed by Osric Dane in the silent deglutition of Mrs. Bollinger’s menu,
and by the members of the club in the emission of tentative platitudes
which their guest seemed to swallow as perfunctorily as the successive
courses of the luncheon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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