Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920 -- Childhood and youth
Now it was life full beyond our fondest expectations, if not our fancies
of its possibilities, which lured us forward. We were making the most of
our mutual interest in the books we were reading, and she was giving, as
sisters give so far beyond the giving of brothers, her sympathy to me in
what I was trying to write. It was some time since I had turned, upon
the counsel of J. W., from Greek to German, I forget from just what
reasoning, though I think it was because he said I could study Greek any
time, and now we could study German together. I had gone so far with it
that I was already reading Heine and trying to write like him, instead
of reading my Spanish poets and trying to imitate them in their own
meters. But there is scarcely any definite memory of my sister's
literary companionship left me. I remember her coming to me once with
the praise, which I shame-facedly refused, of the neighbor who had
pointed to a row of Washington Irving's works in her house, and said
that some day my books would fill a shelf like that. For the rest, I am
dimly aware of our walking summer evenings down a certain westward way
from our house, and of her helping me dream a literary future. If she
had then a like ambition she kept it from me, and it was not till twenty
years later that she sent me a play she had written, with village
motives and village realities, treated with a frankness which I still
had not the intelligence to value. The play never came to the stage, and
in that farther time, it was the fruition of hopes which had not defined
themselves, that when my father's scheme was realized, not only I, but
she too, was to return to Columbus with him. It would be easy to
pretend, and I can easily believe that we had always, at the bottom of
our hearts, thought of Columbus with distinct longing; but I am not sure
that there was more in our remembrance of it than a sense of its
greatness as the state capital to give direction to our ambition for
some experience of the world beyond our village. There was no part for
her in our journalistic plan; probably the affair for her was an outing
which she had won by her unselfish devotion to the duties of her narrow
lot; but what I am sure of, and what I am glad of now, amidst my
compunctions for not valuing her loving loyalty at its true worth, is
that she did have this outing.
III
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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