Country life -- England -- Fiction; England -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction; Rural poor -- England -- Fiction
'My beloved! my husband!--Yes--though you may fancy me fickle and
proud--I will call you so to the last; for were I fickle, I could
have saved myself the agony of writing this; and as for pride, oh!
how that darling vice has been crushed out of me! I have rolled at
my mother's feet with bitter tears, and vain entreaties--and been
refused; and yet I have obeyed her after all. We must write to each
other no more. This one last letter must explain the forced silence
which has been driving me mad with fears that you would suspect me.
And now you may call me weak; but it is your love which has made me
strong to do this--which has taught me to see with new intensity my
duty, not only to you, but to every human being--to my parents. By
this self-sacrifice alone can I atone to them for all my past
undutifulness. Let me, then, thus be worthy of you. Hope that by
this submission we may win even her to change. How calmly I write!
but it is only my hand that is calm. As for my heart, read
Tennyson's Fatima, and then know how I feel towards you! Yes, I
love you--madly, the world would say. I seem to understand now how
women have died of love. Ay, that indeed would be blessed; for then
my spirit would seek out yours, and hover over it for ever!
Farewell, beloved! and let me hear of you through your deeds. A
feeling at my heart, which should not be, although it is, a sad one,
tells me that we shall meet soon--soon.'
Stupefied and sickened, Lancelot turned carelessly to Mrs.
Lavington's cover, whose blameless respectability thus uttered
itself:--
'I cannot deceive you or myself by saying I regret that providential
circumstances should have been permitted to break off a connection
which I always felt to be most unsuitable; and I rejoice that the
intercourse my dear child has had with you has not so far undermined
her principles as to prevent her yielding the most filial obedience
to my wishes on the point of her future correspondence with you.
Hoping that all that has occurred will be truly blessed to you, and
lead your thoughts to another world, and to a true concern for the
safety of your immortal soul,
'I remain, yours truly,
'C. LAVINGTON.'
'Another world!' said Lancelot to himself. 'It is most merciful of
you, certainly, my dear madame, to put one in mind of the existence
of another world, while such as you have their own way in this one!'
and thrusting the latter epistle into the fire, he tried to collect
his thoughts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account