"Rap over the--what?" inquired Mrs. Champney, squinting.
"The bean," said Mr. Smilk, with emphasis.
"I can't imagine what has come over you, Ernest. You were such a
nice, quiet, model prisoner,--one of the most promising I ever had
anything to do with. The authorities assured me that you--do you
mean to tell me that you entered this apartment for the purpose of
robbing it? Don't answer! I don't want to hear your voice again. You
have given me the greatest disappointment of my life. I trusted you,
Ernest,--I had faith in you,--and--and now I find you here in my
own brother's apartment, of all places in the world, still pursuing
your-"
"Well, you went and moved away on me," broke in Smilk wrathfully.
"That's right, Alice," added Mr. Yollop. "You went and moved on him.
He told me that just before you came in."
"You may as well understand right now, Ernest Wilson, that I shall
never intercede for you again," said Mrs. Champney sternly. "I shall
let you rot in prison. I am through with you. You don't deserve--"
"Are you goin' to take off them rings, or have I got to--"
"Would you rob your benefactress?" demanded the lady.
"Every time I think of all that you robbed me of, I--I--" began Mr.
Smilk, shakily.
"Don't blubber, Cassius," said Mr. Yollop consolingly. "You see, my
dear Alice, Mr. Smilk thinks,--and maintains,--that you did him a
dirty trick when you had him turned out into a wicked, dishonest
world. He was living on the fat of the land up there in Sing Sing,
seeing motion pictures and plays and so forth, without a worry in
the world, with union hours and union pay, no one depending--"
"What nonsense are you talking? How could he have union pay in a
penitentiary, Crittenden?"
"Don't interrupt me, please. However, I will explain that he was
just as well-off at the end of the week as any union laborer is, and
no street car fare to pay besides. Free food, fuel, lodging,
divorce, music--"
"I forgot to mention baseball," interrupted Mr. Smilk. "And once in
awhile an electrocution to break the monotony, to say nothin' of a
jail-break every now and then. Say, you'll have to get a move on,
Mrs. Champney,--God, will I ever forget that name!--'cause we're
expectin' the police here before long. I've changed my mind about
havin' you hold your hands up, Mr. Yollop. You made me telephone for
the police to come around and arrest me. Now I'm goin' to make you
bind and gag this lady. I can't very well do it myself and keep you
covered at the same time, and while I ought to give you a wollop on
the jaw, same as you done to me, I ain't goin' to do it. You can
scream if you want to, ma'am,--yell 'bloody murder', and 'police',
and everything. It's all the same to me. Go ahead and--"
"It is not my intention to do anything of the kind," announced the
lady haughtily. "But I want to tell you one thing, Crittenden
Yollop. If you attempt to gag and bind me, I'll bite and scratch,
even if you are my own brother."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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