Yollop: "I haven't said he was unable to pull a trigger."
Counsel: "Answer my question!"
The State, bouncing up: "We object to this question. It calls for a
conclusion on the part of the witness that--"
The Court: "Objection sustained."
Counsel, glaring: "Exception." Then, after mopping his brow and
consulting his notes: "Now, Mr. Yollop, you say you conversed with
this defendant at some length while waiting for the police to
arrive. Have you any recollection of this defendant telling you that
he was driven to theft because he had been out of work for nearly
three months?"
Yollop: "No."
Counsel: "Didn't he say something of the kind to you?"
Yollop: "He didn't say he had been out of WORK for three months."
Counsel, patiently: "Well, what did he say?"
Yollop: "He said he had been out of jail for three months."
Counsel, suddenly referring to his notes again: "Er--ahem!--By the
way, Mr. Yollop, you don't hear very well, do you?"
Yollop: "I am quite deaf."
Counsel: "He might have said a great many things that you failed to
hear,--especially if his voice was weak?"
Yollop: "I dare say he did."
Counsel, lifting his eyebrows significantly and nodding his head:
"Ah-h-h! Didn't he tell you that he had a wife and several
children?"
Yollop: "I don't recall that he said anything about several
children. He said he had several wives."
Counsel, startled: "What's that?"
A bailiff, harshly addressing a woman in the front row of
spectators: "Order! Order!"
The Woman in the front row: "The dirty liar!"
The State, sticking its hands in its pockets and strutting to and
fro, smiling loftily: "Repeat the answer for the gentleman, Mr.
Reporter."
Counsel: "Never mind,--never mind. I move that the answer be
stricken out, your honor, and that you instruct the jury to
disregard the supposedly facetious reply of the witness."
The Court, to Mr. Yollop: "Did this defendant say to you that he had
several wives?"
Yollop, looking blandly at the jury until convinced by twelve
expressions and the direction in which twenty four eyes were gazing
that the court had spoken: "I beg pardon, your honor. Were you
speaking to me?"
The Court, raising his voice: "Did he tell you that he had several
wives?"
Yollop: "He did."
The Court: "Motion overruled. Proceed."
Counsel: "Exception. Now, Mr.--"
Child in the front row, still gazing intently at a very baldheaded
man on the opposite side of the aisle: "I want my daddy! I want--"
The Court: "You must remove that child from the court room, madam.
Officer, see that that child is removed. Remove all of them. You may
remain here, madam, if you choose to do so, but the court cannot
allow this trial to be--"
The Woman in the front row: "Please, your honor, if you will let me
keep them here I'll promise to--"
The Court: "Officer, remove those children at once."
The Woman: "And what's more, he tells a dirty lie when he says--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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