Yorksher Puddin': A Collection of the Most Popular Dialect Stories from the Pen of John Hartley — John Shaqi
Yorksher Puddin': A Collection of the Most Popular Dialect Stories from the Pen of John HartleyHartley, John
General
Yorksher Puddin': A Collection of the Most Popular Dialect Stories from the Pen of John Hartley
Hartley, John
English language -- Dialects -- England -- Yorkshire; Yorkshire (England) -- Fiction
what's in me." "Eea, an' it wor what wor in thi 'at spaik last neet!
Tha's noa need to tell me 'at tha worn't i' thi reight wit, for tha hasn't
been that for a long time but aw can tell thi one thing--if tha'rt a
medium, awm net gooin to be made one! aw'll awther be one thing or tother,
soa if tha'd rayther have yond mucky trolly, tak her; an' may yo booath
have a seed i' yor tooith an' corns o' yor tooas, an' be fooarsed to walk
daan th' hill, all th' days o' yor lives; that's what aw wish." He talked
to her for a long time, but it wor noa use, for yo see shoo'd niver been
enlightened, an' all he could say didn't convince her 'at he worn't
answerable for all he'd sed an' done; but ov cooarse it's weel known 'at
mediums arn't responsible for owt. After a few moor remarks, an' relatin a
few moor incidents, he sed "it wor abaat time to begin the serious business
'at had called us together, an' he sed he hooap'd 'at if ony had came to
scoff, they'd remain to pay, for they wor sadly i' need o' funds, an' he
hooap'd 'at iverybody wod respond liberally, for sperits sich as they dealt
in could not be getten o' trust, although they had to be takken that way."
Then he knock'd th' table three times wi' his knuckles, an' two o'th'
fiddle-faced chaps 'at wor set one o' each side on him, began to wriggle
abaat as if they'd getten th' murly grubs. "Stop! stop!" he sed, "one at
once, if yo pleease! Brother Sawny had better give his sperit backward for
a few minutes, wol we've done wi' Brother Titus's." Soa Sawny gave ovver
shakkin hissen, exceptin his heead, an' jumpin onto his feet, he sed, "If
awve allus to give way to Titus, awm blow'd if awl come to edify yor lot
ony longer." "Husht, husht!" says th' cheerman, "the sperit has takken
possession o' Titus already. Will ony o'th' unbelievers ax it a few
questions?" Soa aw thowt aw mud as weel be forrad as onybody else, soa aw
stood up an' ax'd it furst--
"What did they use to call thi?"
"Mary Jane Wittering."
"Ha long is it since tha deed?"
(Noa answer; soa th' cheerman sed it wor a varry frivolous an' improper
question, an' aw mud ax summat else.)
"Wor ta iver wed?"
"Nobbut three times."
"Wor ta allus true to 'em when tha had 'em?"
(No answer; th' cheerman shook his neive at me.)
"Are they livin or deead?"
"One's deead, one's livin, an' one's a medium."
"Has ta met anybody tha knows up i' yor pairts?"
"Monny a scoor."
"Are they happy or miserable?"
"Some one way an' some another."
"Has ta seen onybody at's come latly?"
"Nubdy but a chap they call 'Profit."
"What did they call him 'Profit' for?"
"Aw doant know, unless it's becoss he did soa weel aght o' collectin th'
rates afoor he coom here."
"Is he happy?"
"Nut exactly, he's undergooin his punishment, poor chap."
"What is it?"
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