Children -- Drama; Comedy plays; England -- Drama; Fathers -- Drama; Runaway husbands -- Drama; Wives -- Drama
CRAMPTON (gratefully, after looking at her earnestly for a moment).
Thank you. I will come with pleasure.
GLORIA } (politely { Thank you very much--er--
DOLLY } murmuring).{ So glad--er--
PHILIP } { Delighted, I'm sure--er--
(The conversation drops. Gloria and Dolly look at one another; then at
Valentine and Philip. Valentine and Philip, unequal to the occasion,
look away from them at one another, and are instantly so disconcerted by
catching one another's eye, that they look back again and catch the eyes
of Gloria and Dolly. Thus, catching one another all round, they all look
at nothing and are quite at a loss. Crampton looks about him, waiting
for them to begin. The silence becomes unbearable.)
DOLLY (suddenly, to keep things going). How old are you, Mr. Crampton?
GLORIA (hastily). I am afraid we must be going, Mr. Valentine. It is
understood, then, that we meet at half past one. (She makes for the
door. Philip goes with her. Valentine retreats to the bell.)
VALENTINE. Half past one. (He rings the bell.) Many thanks. (He follows
Gloria and Philip to the door, and goes out with them.)
DOLLY (who has meanwhile stolen across to Crampton). Make him give you
gas. It's five shillings extra: but it's worth it.
CRAMPTON (amused). Very well. (Looking more earnestly at her.) So you
want to know my age, do you? I'm fifty-seven.
DOLLY (with conviction). You look it.
CRAMPTON (grimly). I dare say I do.
DOLLY. What are you looking at me so hard for? Anything wrong? (She
feels whether her hat is right.)
CRAMPTON. You're like somebody.
DOLLY. Who?
CRAMPTON. Well, you have a curious look of my mother.
DOLLY (incredulously). Your mother!!! Quite sure you don't mean your
daughter?
CRAMPTON (suddenly blackening with hate). Yes: I'm quite sure I don't
mean my daughter.
DOLLY (sympathetically). Tooth bad?
CRAMPTON. No, no: nothing. A twinge of memory, Miss Clandon, not of
toothache.
DOLLY. Have it out. "Pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow:" with gas,
five shillings extra.
CRAMPTON (vindictively). No, not a sorrow. An injury that was done me
once: that's all. I don't forget injuries; and I don't want to forget
them. (His features settle into an implacable frown.)
(re-enter Philip: to look for Dolly. He comes down behind her
unobserved.)
DOLLY (looking critically at Crampton's expression). I don't think we
shall like you when you are brooding over your sorrows.
PHILIP (who has entered the room unobserved, and stolen behind her).
My sister means well, Mr. Crampton: but she is indiscreet. Now Dolly,
outside! (He takes her towards the door.)
DOLLY (in a perfectly audible undertone). He says he's only fifty-seven;
and he thinks me the image of his mother; and he hates his daughter;
and-- (She is interrupted by the return of Valentine.)
VALENTINE. Miss Clandon has gone on.
PHILIP. Don't forget half past one.
DOLLY. Mind you leave Mr. Crampton with enough teeth to eat with. (They
go out. Valentine comes down to his cabinet, and opens it.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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