You no longer count (Tu n'es plus rien!)Boylesve, René
General
You no longer count (Tu n'es plus rien!)
Boylesve, René
World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
"No, Odette, you don't consider that everything is changed."
"One's heart, too?"
"Yes, one's heart, too. Many among us pass for hard-hearted and inhuman,
but everything now appears from another point of view."
"Love is always love."
Odette, whose sense of hearing was extremely acute, overheard a
low-voiced conversation in which Simone was saying how well her dear
Pierrot was looking, and she swooned again.
The rest of the day was only one lamentation, an inarticulate and
continuous moaning.
The following days were no better. The physician dreaded meningitis.
Human beings are often weak in the face of great catastrophes when they
are governed only by their natural sentiments. Yet Rose, who was in all
things natural, remained completely devoted to Odette.
"It is easier," said Mme. de Blauve, "to nurse a gravely wounded man
than a woman distracted with grief, for whom there is nothing to do, to
whom there is nothing to say."
The first two days of Odette's grief were as nothing in comparison with
those that followed. She uttered no sound except to moan; she fell into
delirious slumbers, had hours of furious insomnia, nightmares,
hallucinations, attacks of hysterics. At last came the period of
confidences, with torrents of tears.
Among Odette's friends, some had not been pleased because they had not
been admitted to her room the first day; others were forgetting
everything in their dominant desire to obtain a place as nurse in a
hospital. Some of these, having succeeded in compassing their wishes,
came at last, and were not denied entrance to the sick-room, by reason
of the costume that they wore. At first it seemed as if they might harm
Odette by the lamentable scenes which they described. These nurses
delighted in employing new, technical words, which they had taken pains
to learn by heart, like so many schoolgirls. But Odette would murmur:
"All your unhappy ones, with their surgical operations--they are alive,
after all." And she would think to herself: "Mine is dead." What answer
could be made to that?
Odette received heaps of letters, whose eloquence overwhelmed without
touching her. She deemed all their expressions exaggerated, and yet she
could not say that they rang false; they spoke of France, of glory and
honor; hardly did they make allusion to her love, which to her was all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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