You no longer count (Tu n'es plus rien!)Boylesve, René
General
You no longer count (Tu n'es plus rien!)
Boylesve, René
World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
At certain hours the beach was covered with men under treatment. You
recognized them by the slings that supported their arms, by their
crutches, their bandaged heads, not often by their uniforms, of which
they preserved only odd parts. They wore old jackets, knitted
waistcoats, trousers brought forth from old Norman wardrobes. Some of
the men limped, others wearily dragged their feet along the sand; those
who had legs wrestled with one another, ran races, played like children.
They delighted in the edge of the sea, gathering shells, and regaling
themselves with the slimy flesh of cockles. Some of them cast a too
expressive glance upon the young woman, with an awkward word which at
another time would have made her smile. It was an amazing group of
tatterdemalions; within the memory of man no eye had ever looked upon
such a sight. It excited compassion; and yet almost every man in
particular had gained, without trying, the manly merit of always seeming
to be in good humor.
Whenever she saw them Odette felt moved, and at the same time somewhat
jealous. _He_ had not been washed, bandaged, ministered to, nor even
clothed in rags; _he_ had not been able to drag his mangled limbs along
the seashore; _he_ had been killed outright. She would say to herself:
"Perhaps one of these soldiers knew him, perhaps he saw him fall; he
could tell me the details, could describe his last days, his last hour,
his last minute." And she grew faint at the possibility of asking them,
of learning.
The low tide, the stormy sky, the wind, the grayish hillsides, the
transports on the horizon, always this immense deserted beach, these
wretched relics of the war, and she, disconsolate widow, imploring the
wind to snatch her away and destroy her in its eddies! The constant
reminders of the past, the sight of these same places, natural
background of all the pleasant things of life! The thought of that water
which had bathed the limbs of Jean, and of the August sun, and the
restless multitude, gay and elegant, whom the many-colored sweaters set
off like a profusion of tulips; the movement of automobiles, the music
of the orchestra! Her heart ached at these contrasts even more than it
had done in Paris. The solitude, the approaching winter, and the near
contact with suffering aroused in her an unwelcome agitation. The
restless air, dark with cawing crows, brought a bitter taste to her
lips, and yet aroused in her an indescribable sense of splendor.
VII
Nothing less than the thought of meeting Mme. de Calouas at church on
the following Sunday before she had paid her promised visit could have
induced Odette to cross the threshold of the hospital.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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