Young Earnest: The Romance of a Bad Start in LifeCannan, Gilbert
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Young Earnest: The Romance of a Bad Start in Life
Cannan, Gilbert
English fiction -- 20th century
his involuntary adoration of her beauty legitimate. He could never
take his eyes off her, and she began to amuse herself with him and try
her coquetries upon his oversensitiveness. He suffered terribly. She
was caught in her own wiles, and she too suffered. It was a relief to
both when, the first year, they parted.
The next year she was not so lovely, and had lost or disguised her
wildness. It was not long before he discovered that he could rouse it
in her. Then began their meetings in the woods.
At the thought of her now his affection for Ann, his warm regard for
Kilner faded away. They were meaningless without her. He knew not
where she was. His only clue was Rachel. Cathleen, too, might go to
that house. He would wait until she came. If the worst came to the
worst, he would ask Rachel. He must satisfy himself that he was not
covering that sweet past with illusions. The meeting with Rachel had
brought it all flooding back to bring him to acute discontent with the
present. It was one thing to sigh sentimentally over happy days. To do
that was to obscure them. It was quite another thing to have happy
days demanding egress through his life, growing through the thick-set
years like a tree through a wall.
He stole away directly Kilner and Ann were out of sight, found he had
only a sovereign, and turned into the tobacconist's round the corner
for change. It was also a news-agent's, and he bought a newspaper and,
as he was borne along by the bus, read of his aunt's death. Strange,
he thought, that all his thoughts should be clustered round her house
just then. The wise old woman, with her dear foibles: what had her
long life been? The end of it was sweet and true and full of grace.
Not only his mother had been helped in her troubles. That he knew. The
old lady's meager income became supple and elastic under the touch of
generous charity that never spoiled its gifts with the demand for
gratitude. She once said to René: "Better be ungrateful than cramped
with gratitude." Read Dante upside down she might in her old age, but
she could quote him from her heart:
Ed io a lui: Io mi son un che, quando
Amor mi spira, noto, ed a quel modo
che ditta dentro, vo significando.
She had made René learn a little Italian and get that by heart. It
began now to have a meaning for him, and he repeated it to himself as
he came near the road in which stood Rachel's house.
He took up his stand at the corner and waited. He had been there
nearly an hour when a car drove up and a spruce, middle-aged gentleman
got out, walked up the path, and admitted himself with a key. Rachel's
husband? Far too old for her.
Another hour's waiting. A young woman came along the road. René
thought for a moment it was she, and his heart leaped. She did not see
him. She turned in at the gate, knocked at the door, and was admitted.
No, he decided, that was not Cathleen.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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