Young Earnest: The Romance of a Bad Start in Life — John Shaqi
Young Earnest: The Romance of a Bad Start in LifeCannan, Gilbert
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Young Earnest: The Romance of a Bad Start in Life
Cannan, Gilbert
English fiction -- 20th century
"Linda versteht. Ja. Aber sie fühlt nicht mehr als----" And a torrent
of long-involved sentences descended on René and brought him to a
hopeless bewilderment. That had been his growing condition. This
incursion into a foreign world, into an atmosphere of easy social
intercourse, was for him, a dweller among the humble ingregarious
inhabitants of mediocre streets, an ordeal, a fierce conflict with
impressions. Already to have had so much music to absorb had put some
strain upon him. The effort to follow Mrs. Brock's conversation had
been exhausting, and to save himself he clung to Linda and the idea of
Linda. He rose as she came up. She stood for a moment with her hand in
her mother's, looking, for a brief space, like a Cranach Eve, all
charm and tenderness, the very bloom of womanhood upon her. She took
his chair, and he had to fetch another. He was forced to place it
close to hers, so that he had some difficulty in not touching her.
Presently she moved so that the smallest accidental gesture must make
him touch her. He edged away, and she turned and looked at him
searchingly, inquisitively. His face was blank as that of a statue.
His mind knew no thought. He seemed to himself to be drowning in a
languor that was part weariness, part excitement, at her propinquity.
She laughed, and her laughter roused him, but already she was talking
animatedly to her mother and her mother's friends, and René became
absorbed in contemplating her honey-colored hair, the rounding line of
her shoulder, the pretty modeling of her cheek and neck. And, through
her conversation with her mother, with her white shoulders and the
pretty modeling of her cheek and neck she carried on with René an
intercourse more terrifyingly intimate than any he had ever known. He
had a disquieting sense of using more faculties than he had ever
suspected in himself. It was pleasantly adventurous, but to a youth of
his virtue it savored too alarmingly of black magic that her attention
should be upon him while her words were elsewhere, and that he should
be so keenly aware of her. It sent the room whirling round him, made
his identity, which hitherto had seemed definite enough for all the
apparent purposes of life, melt and trickle away, and cruelly
transferred the center of his universe from himself to Linda. And,
when she looked toward him again, it was almost as though she had
surprised his state, so certain did she look, but still inquisitive
and malicious.
"Well? Did you talk German?"
"I said you were _wunderschön_." He leaned forward so that his hand
touched her arm. He was so desperate that boldness was his only
course. She had taken something from him. He was in a mood to claim
it.
"Am I?" she said. "You looked as if you didn't see me."
"But I did see you all the time, especially when you drooped your
head."
"Oh! Then!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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