As for Mary, the occupations of the sick-room, and the sudden problems
of the hereafter thus thrust upon her, were enough to fill her mind, and
make her even comparatively indifferent to the departure of Nello,
though it was against her judgment. It was not the hereafter of the
spirit, which thus lay death-bound on the verge of the unseen, which
occupied her. We must all die, everybody knows; but who thinks it true
in their own case until it comes? Mary had known very well that a man
much over seventy could not live very much longer; but it was only when
her father fell back in his chair unconscious, his body motionless, his
mind veiled within blinding mists, that she felt the real weight of all
that was to follow. It was for her to act as soon as the breath should
be out of his body. She did not trust her younger brother, and she did
not know what to do for her elder brother. The crisis had arrived while
she was still unprepared. She went down mechanically to see Randolph go
away, her eyes seeing many other things more clearly than she saw the
two figures actually before her; the man suspicious as usual, and
putting no faith in her--the boy in a subdued excitement, his eyes
sparkling with the light of novelty and adventure. Randolph had gone
into his father’s room that morning, and had walked suspiciously round
the bed, making quite sure that the “no change” was true. “I suppose he
may last like this for weeks yet?” he said, in a querulous
undertone--and yet not so low but that everybody heard it--to the
doctor. “Oh, hush, for Heaven’s sake, Randolph! How can you tell that he
does not hear?” said Mary. “Pshaw how can he hear?” Randolph replied,
turning with a certain contempt from the helpless and powerless frame
which lay there making no sign, yet living when it would be so much
better that he should die. The awe of such a presence gives way to
familiarity and weariness even with the most reverent watcher; but
Randolph, though he had no desire to be indecorous, could not help
feeling a certain irritation at his father, who balked him by this
insensibility just as he had balked him while yet he had all his wits
about him. It seemed incredible that this half-dead, half-living
condition, which brought everything to a standstill, should not be more
or less a man’s own fault.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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