Your boy and his training : $b A practical treatise on boy-trainingPuller, Edwin Seward
Science
Your boy and his training : $b A practical treatise on boy-training
Puller, Edwin Seward
Boys; Child rearing
Persistent, unjust, or excessive punishments, either of body or mind,
furnish a powerful incentive for the boy to invoke his chief means of
defense against superior force--evasion and prevarication. Such conduct
is guaranteed to produce a youthful Munchausen.
What are a boy’s means of defense against a beating which he regards,
either rightly or wrongly, as excessive or brutal? He has only
two--flight and falsehood. He knows that he is incapable of matching
physical strength with his parent. This knowledge, combined with
whatever love for the parent has not been extinguished, prevents a
contest of strength which the child realizes would be futile. Flight
is frequently out of the question because of the boy’s dependency and
his inability to earn his own living. His last means of defense is
falsehood, the use of which he justifies as his only method of escape
from unwarranted or excessive punishment. Fully conscious of the wrong
of lying he considers it the lesser of the two evils.
Similar in its effect is the nagging of children, in which mothers are
more prone to indulge than fathers. Exhibitions of constant scolding,
faultfinding, and querulous temper, interspersed with boxing of
ears, smacking of cheeks, and slapping of hands, all tend to thwart
the child’s mental and moral growth and contribute to the making of
a wayward son. Such punishment is largely mental but none the less
reprehensible because it lacks the element of physical pain. To slap
a child’s hand as a correctional measure, with the sharp word of
reproof which accompanies it, gives the child a mental instead of a
physical shock; a slap of the same degree given in a playful mood will
cause him to laugh. When a boy, especially in the adolescent period,
begins to complain of the injustice of constant nagging, scolding,
and corporal punishment, it is a danger signal which should cause
the parent to stop, look, and listen. Such conduct on the part of
the parent alienates the love and sympathy of the child, conduces to
lying, secretiveness and evasion, and is productive of truancy and the
development of the wanderlust. Its psychological effect on the parent
is the loss of self-respect which is the inevitable accompaniment of
punitive injustice.
The punitive theory of the correction of youthful offenses is archaic
and should be relegated to the Paleolithic era from whence it sprang.
To mete out punishment as such is vengeance pure and simple; an
eye-for-an-eye-and-a-tooth-for-a-tooth policy which has no place in
modern child-culture.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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