Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, HeredityGruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Science
Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, Heredity
Gruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Children
First of all, he had gotten hold of a large idea, which he could not
by any possibility understand in all its bearings; and on the basis
of this he criticises the charitable efforts of his mother and,
indeed, of her whole generation. Not only does he criticise the
prevailing, modes of philanthropic effort, but he condemns these
good people as having "petty" minds--because they do not all see
what he has seen, perhaps for as long as a day or two. His attitude
is not reasoned out, but arises from the deepest feelings of
sympathy for the great tragedy of poverty, which he takes in at one
sweep without patience for the details of individual poor people.
Then the preacher on the street corner, exposing himself to the
gibes and sneers of the unsympathetic crowd, appeals to him
instantly as a self-sacrificing champion of some "cause." It is his
religious feelings, his chivalric feelings, that are reached; he
would himself become a missionary, and the missionary is a hero that
appeals especially to the adolescent. There is no inconsistency
between his disapproval of specific acts of charity and his approval
of the preacher of an unknown cause. In both instances he gives
voice to his feelings for the larger, comprehensive ideals that are
just surging to the surface of his consciousness.
This is the period in which you will one day complain that the young
person is giving altogether too much time and thought to details of
dress and fashion, only to remonstrate a few days later about his
careless or even slovenly appearance. On the whole, however, the
interest in dress and appearance will grow, because as the
adolescent boy or girl becomes conscious of his own personality he
thinks more and more of the appearance of his person, and especially
of how it appears to others. There is even the danger that the boy
will become a fop or a dandy, and that the girl will take to
overdressing. Argument is of little avail in such cases. The
association with persons of good taste who will arouse the
admiration or affection of the growing child will do more than hours
of sermons. If the boy can realize that one may be a fine man
without wearing the latest style in collars, or if the girl finds a
thoroughly admirable and lovable woman who does not observe the
customs of fashion too much, neither ridicule nor protest will be
necessary.
In general, the adolescent will give us exercise in patience and in
imagination and in ingenuity. He will puzzle us and perplex us as
well as exasperate us. But if we cannot remember back to our own
golden age, we must try as best we can to believe that even this
will pass away.
XIV.
HEREDITY AND ENVIRONMENT
With special assistance from
BENJAMIN CHARLES GRUENBERG, Ph.D.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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