Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, Heredity — John Shaqi
Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, HeredityGruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Science
Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, Heredity
Gruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Children
Another source of comparatively harmless lying is the instinct for
secretiveness. Children just love to have secrets, and if there are
none on hand, they have to be invented. A child will tell another a
secret on condition that it be kept a secret; but when the secret is
told it turns out to be a falsehood--perhaps even something
libellous. Now, the child cannot feel that he has done anything
wicked, for to his mind the big thing is that Nellie promised not to
tell, and she broke her promise! If she had not broken her promise
to keep the secret, it never would have come out, and no harm would
have been done. Perhaps we have not yet sufficiently driven secrets
from our common life to demand that the children shall be without
secrets. When we set the children an example of perfect frankness
and open dealing in all matters, we may perhaps be in a position to
discourage the invention of secrets by the young people.
Secretiveness leads naturally to deceit; but it is not in itself
serious enough to make much ado about. Healthy children in healthful
social surroundings will outgrow this instinct; where the atmosphere
is charged with intrigue and scheming and dissimulation, this
instinct may survive longer, but its manifestation is in itself not
a trait that should give its concern.
Some children lie because they are inclined to brag or show off;
others for just the opposite reason--they are too sensitive or
timid. And a lie that comes from either side of the child's nature
cannot be taken as a sign of moral depravity; the treatment which a
child is given must take into consideration the child's temperament.
Charles Darwin tells of his own inclination to make exaggerated
statements for the purpose of causing a sensation. "I told another
little boy," he writes in his autobiography, "that I could produce
variously-colored polyanthuses and primroses by watering them with
certain colored fluids, which was, of course, a monstrous fable, and
had never been tried by me. I may here also confess that as a little
boy I was much given to inventing deliberate falsehoods, and this
was always done for the sake of causing excitement. For instance, I
once gathered much valuable fruit from my father's trees and hid it
in the shrubbery and then ran in breathless haste to spread the news
that I had discovered a hoard of stolen fruit."
For the vaunting lie it is usually sufficient to defeat its purpose
by showing that the boast cannot be carried out. The braggart is
made to descend from the pedestal of the hero to the level of the
fool.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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