Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, Heredity — John Shaqi
Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, HeredityGruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Science
Your Child: Today and Tomorrow: Some Problems for Parents Concerning Punishment, Reasoning, Lies, Ideals and Ambitions, Fear, Work and Play, Imagination, Social Activities, Obedience, Adolescence, Will, Heredity
Gruenberg, Sidonie Matsner
Children
The influence of the unknown explains also why that other great
source of fear, namely, darkness, has such a strange hold upon
children. Fear of darkness is very common and often very intense.
There are but few children who do not suffer from it at some time
and to some extent. This fear is frequently suggested by stories of
robbers, ghosts, or other terrors, but even children who have been
carefully guarded sometimes have these violent fears that cannot be
reasoned away.
In order to discover what it is about the darkness that frightens
children, a large number of women and men were asked to recall their
childish experiences with fear, and from the many instances given
the following may be used to illustrate the various terrors of the
dark.
One woman described her fears of "an indistinct living something,
black, possibly curly," which she feared would enter the room in the
darkness from somewhere under the bed. Another could see dark
objects with eyes and teeth slowly and noiselessly descending from
the ceiling toward her. One little boy, when he had finally overcome
fear, said to his father that he thought the dark to be "a large
live thing the color of black." A girl of nineteen said she
remembered that on going to bed she used to see little black figures
jumping about between the ceiling and the bed.
It is well known that the feeling of fear is often very intense
among children; and where it is due to ignorance it is not right to
laugh it away. Doing so affords no explanation. The ridicule may
cause the child to _hide_ his fear, but will not drive the
feeling away. Since the feeling of fear is so closely connected with
the strange and unknown, the only way that it may be directly
overcome is by making the child familiar with the objects that cause
such feelings.
In the case of young children with whom we cannot reason it is best,
wherever possible, to remove the cause or gradually to make the
child familiar with the darkness, or whatever it is that makes him
unhappy. One very young child became frightened when he was
presented with a Teddy bear. Every time the Teddy bear was produced
he would cry with terror. The mother was perplexed about what to do.
Now, as the Teddy bear is not a necessary part of the child's
surroundings, there is no reason why it cannot be removed altogether
and produced again upon some future occasion, when the child is old
enough to be indifferent to it. Very many children are frightened by
the touch of fur, or even of velvet; but this lasts only a short
time, and they soon learn to like dogs and cats.
The fear of darkness is different; we cannot eliminate darkness from
the child's experience, and we must patiently try to help the child
to overcome his fear, since he will suffer greatly so long as it
lasts. The help you give him will also constitute one more bond of
sympathy between you and your child, and we cannot have too many
such bonds.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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