Youth and Sex: Dangers and Safeguards for Girls and BoysScharlieb, Mary
Science
Youth and Sex: Dangers and Safeguards for Girls and Boys
Scharlieb, Mary
Adolescence; Child psychology; Moral conditions; Sex (Psychology); Sexual ethics; Youth
Many of my readers who have boys of fourteen and upwards to whom they
have hitherto given no instruction will, I hope, feel that they must
now do this. I venture, therefore, to give a detailed account of the
manner in which I should myself act in similar circumstances. I should
arrange to be with the lad when there was no danger of interruption,
and in such circumstances as would put him at his ease. I should tell
him that I was conscious of unwisdom in not speaking to him before
about a subject of supreme importance to him; that I took upon myself
all blame for anything he might, in ignorance, have said or done; that
through ignorance I had myself fallen and suffered, and that I should
like him now to sit down and read through this pamphlet slowly and
carefully. When he finished I should try by every possible means to
make him sensible of my affection for him. I should associate myself
in a few words with the sentiments of the writer, and should invite
the lad to tell me whether he had fallen into temptation, and if so to
what extent. A confidence of this kind assists a boy greatly and
establishes a delightful intimacy.
There are several points with regard to purity-teaching which need to
be emphasised.
Such teaching can hardly be too explicit. "Beating about the bush" is
always indicative of the absence of self-possession. The embarrassment
manifested is quickly perceived even by a young child, and is certain
to communicate itself to the recipient. It is of paramount importance
that the child should, from the first, feel that the knowledge
imparted is pure; anything which suggests that it is indelicate should
be studiously avoided. The introduction of a few science terms is
advantageous in several ways: amongst others it relieves the tension
which the spiritual aspect of the question may engender, it gives a
lad a terminology which is free from filthy contamination.
It is important that the information given should be full, otherwise
the boy lives in a chronic state of curiosity, which, to his great
detriment, he is ever trying to satisfy. If the reader feels that the
information is dangerous, and aims, therefore, at imparting as little
as possible, he is not fitted to do the work at all.
No greater mistake can be made than that of taxing a boy with impurity
as though it were a conscious and egregious fault. I have already
expressed my strong opinion that, in almost every instance, the boy is
a victim to be sympathised with, not a culprit to be punished. This
opinion is shared, I believe, by everyone who has investigated the
subject. It is certainly the opinion of Canon Lyttelton and Dr. Dukes.
It is, indeed, easy to exaggerate the conscious guilt even of boys who
have initiated others into masturbation. Apart from the injustice to
the boy of an attitude of severity, it is certain to shut the boy's
heart up with a snap.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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