“‘Yes,’ saidst thou. ‘And at last it answered thee, but not with
song,--in a sharp, brief cry; so mournful, that thy hands let fall the
lute, and the tears gushed from thine eyes. So softly didst thou unbar
the cage, and the nightingale flew into yonder thicket; and thou heardst
the foliage rustle, and, looking through the moonlight, thine eyes saw
that it had found its mate. It sang to thee then from the boughs a long,
loud, joyous jubilee. And musing, thou didst feel that it was not the
vine-leaves or the moonlight that made the bird give melody to night,
and that the secret of its music was the presence of a thing beloved.’
“How didst thou know my thoughts in that childlike time better than
I knew myself! How is the humble life of my past years, with its
mean events, so mysteriously familiar to thee, bright stranger! I
wonder,--but I do not again dare to fear thee!
....
“Once the thought of him oppressed and weighed me down. As an infant
that longs for the moon, my being was one vague desire for something
never to be attained. Now I feel rather as if to think of thee sufficed
to remove every fetter from my spirit. I float in the still seas of
light, and nothing seems too high for my wings, too glorious for my
eyes. It was mine ignorance that made me fear thee. A knowledge that is
not in books seems to breathe around thee as an atmosphere. How little
have I read!--how little have I learned! Yet when thou art by my side,
it seems as if the veil were lifted from all wisdom and all Nature. I
startle when I look even at the words I have written; they seem not to
come from myself, but are the signs of another language which thou hast
taught my heart, and which my hand traces rapidly, as at thy dictation.
Sometimes, while I write or muse, I could fancy that I heard light wings
hovering around me, and saw dim shapes of beauty floating round, and
vanishing as they smiled upon me. No unquiet and fearful dream ever
comes to me now in sleep, yet sleep and waking are alike but as one
dream. In sleep I wander with thee, not through the paths of earth, but
through impalpable air--an air which seems a music--upward and upward,
as the soul mounts on the tones of a lyre! Till I knew thee, I was as a
slave to the earth. Thou hast given to me the liberty of the universe!
Before, it was life; it seems to me now as if I had commenced eternity!
....
“Formerly, when I was to appear upon the stage, my heart beat more
loudly. I trembled to encounter the audience, whose breath gave shame or
renown; and now I have no fear of them. I see them, heed them, hear them
not! I know that there will be music in my voice, for it is a hymn that
I pour to thee. Thou never comest to the theatre; and that no longer
grieves me. Thou art become too sacred to appear a part of the common
world, and I feel glad that thou art not by when crowds have a right to
judge me.
....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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