“You know how much I love you, and how much I esteem you. You know, too,
the story of my life: my past follies, and also the honorable career
I have run in order to atone for them morally, for in a material sense
they are irreparable--according to my ideas, at least. This career
has been fortunate. I have reached the highest rank that a soldier can
attain to-day. But my rapid promotion, however justifiable it may be,
has none the less awakened jealousy. The nature of my services being
above all possibility of suspicion, calumny has sought another quarter
at which to strike, and at this moment it is my delicacy which is
impugned.”
“Your delicacy, Henri! What do you mean?” asked Eugenie, in an altered
voice.
“Our friendship is well known. You are rich, and I have only my pay:
the antithesis is flagrant! The gossips comment upon it, and exploit the
fact against me.”
“Against you!” cried Eugenie, indignantly.
“Against me--yes. I have proof of it. A man in private life would
be justified in ignoring such gossip, but for a man in my profession
ambiguity has no place, nor has compromise. Himself a severe judge of
the conduct of others, he must not afford them a single instance whereby
they can accuse him of not following his own precepts.”
And, as his companion remained silent and startled before an explanation
so unexpected, he added:
“You say nothing, my love. You must divine the depth of my chagrin
at the prospect of a necessary separation, and you are sufficiently
charitable not to remind me that I ought to have made these tardy
reflections before I yielded to a fascination which made me close my
eyes to facts.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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