SHERMAN. Hold on, sir. Here! Halt, you scoundrel! (_Recovering his feet._) Gone? Confound that idiot. I will have him court-martialed for leaving his post. (_Thinking._) Then I should be shown up for allowing the fool to impose upon me. The general of the army on guard! I shall be the laughing stock of the whole army. I’ll wage my commission that he made that to get off for a drink. I’ll scare the idiot out of his senses when he returns. Here he comes. Halt, sir! Stand there till I call the officer of the guard. Move if you dare, sir, and you are a dead man! (_Hez. walks up and takes the gun away, saying—_) HEZEKIAH. You git out. If you don’t know me, you’re the biggest puddin’ head in the country! SHERMAN. You are the most impudent scoundrel I ever met. HEZEKIAH. (_Handing money._) Here’s a quarter for ye. Now you go home and put that knowledge box er your’n under a gardeen, or somebody’ll shoot you for a stray mule. SHERMAN. You are an idiot, sir! HEZEKIAH. (_Throwing hat, coat and gun down, L._) I don’t take that from nobody. SHERMAN. Hold on, sir! What are you going to do? HEZEKIAH. Goin’ ter trample on your constitushun about four minnits. (_Turns to attack, and meets Sherman’s revolver._) Lay down that shooter, I’ll give ye four dollars. SHERMAN. I am a gentleman, sir, no ruffian. HEZEKIAH. Glad ye told me, I shouldn’t er known it. SHERMAN. You want to fight, sir, do you? You shall have all you desire, sir! HEZEKIAH. Then peel and prong round here. SHERMAN. I will meet you here at sunset, tomorrow, sir, for a duel. Arms, broadaxes! Then I will kill you, sir, like a dog. HEZEKIAH. How much do you weigh when you’re all bloated up? SHERMAN. I am known as the worst man in the west, sir! HEZEKIAH. Nobody would look at ye and dispute it. If I looked as bad as you do, I’d hold my breath till I died. I chawed up twenty-seven men once, with a common axe. When I wade in with a broadaxe—wall, you get your friends to come down and hunt up the corpse in about fourteen seconds after they say time. SHERMAN. Do you stop to bury your dead, sir? HEZEKIAH. Now you git out. (_Picking up coat._) If the old general should come along and find me talkin’ to you, he’d raise all possess about it. SHERMAN. (_Turning to R. to leave._) Remember, sir, tomorrow at sunset. I trust that you are no coward that will waste my time, sir. HEZEKIAH. Don’t you fret. Fore I get through with ye, you’ll think a meetin’-house has fell down on ye. (_Exit Sherman, R. Hez. puts on his clothes._) Spose that critter will come, or was he blowin’? I don’t think I’m healthy! I ain’t no ’count with a broadaxe! (_Enter Sally, R. U. E., in male attire, face covered by a wide-rimmed hat._) Hello, there, you padded up young scallawag! What are you catawaulin’ after, out here? SALLY. (_Aside._) He won’t know me. HEZEKIAH. Come putty near shootin’ you for a stray calf. Bin more corpses carried off er this beat since I bin on, than a hoss can haul.