And while she wept to herself in solitude, and her brother Denzil
wandered about in the gardens of the hotel, encouraging within himself
hopes of winning the bewitching Ziska for a wife, Armand Gervase, shut
up in his room under plea of slight indisposition, reviewed the
emotions of the past night and tried to analyze them. Some men are
born self-analysts, and are able to dissect their feelings by some
peculiar form of mental surgery which finally leads them to cut out
tenderness as though it were a cancer, love as a disease, and romantic
aspirations as mere uncomfortable growths injurious to self-interest,
but Gervase was not one of these. Outwardly he assumed more or less
the composed and careless demeanor of the modern French cynic, but
inwardly the man was a raging fire of fierce passions which were
sometimes too strong to be held in check. At the present moment he was
prepared to sacrifice everything, even life itself, to obtain
possession of the woman he coveted, and he made no attempt whatever to
resist the tempest of desire that was urging him on with an invincible
force in a direction which, for some strange and altogether
inexplicable reason, he dreaded. Yes, there was a dim sense of terror
lurking behind all the wild passion that filled his soul--a haunting,
vague idea that this sudden love, with its glowing ardor and
intoxicating delirium, was like the brilliant red sunset which
frequently prognosticates a night of storm, ruin and death. Yet,
though he felt this presentiment like a creeping shudder of cold
through his blood, it did not hold him back, or for a moment impress
him with the idea that it might be better to yield no further to this
desperate love-madness which enthralled him.
Once only, he thought, “What if I left Egypt now--at once--and saw her
no more?” And then he laughed scornfully at the impossibility
proposed. “Leave Egypt!” he muttered, “I might as well leave the world
altogether! She would draw me back with those sweet wild eyes of
hers,--she would drag me from the uttermost parts of the earth to fall
at her feet in a very agony of love. My God! She must have her way and
do with me as she will, for I feel that she holds my life in her
hands!”
As he spoke these last words half aloud, he sprang up from the chair
in which he had been reclining, and stood for a moment lost in
frowning meditation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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