The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a
consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite
natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if
she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument
with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, “I am
older than you, and must know better;” and this Alice would not allow
without knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory positively refused to
tell its age, there was no more to be said.
At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them,
called out, “Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! _I’ll_ soon make
you dry enough!” They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the
Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she
felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
“Ahem!” said the Mouse with an important air, “are you all ready? This
is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! ‘William
the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted
to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much
accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of
Mercia and Northumbria—’”
“Ugh!” said the Lory, with a shiver.
“I beg your pardon!” said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: “Did
you speak?”
“Not I!” said the Lory hastily.
“I thought you did,” said the Mouse. “—I proceed. ‘Edwin and Morcar,
the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even
Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable—’”
“Found _what_?” said the Duck.
“Found _it_,” the Mouse replied rather crossly: “of course you know
what ‘it’ means.”
“I know what ‘it’ means well enough, when _I_ find a thing,” said the
Duck: “it’s generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the
archbishop find?”
The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, “‘—found
it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him
the crown. William’s conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence
of his Normans—’ How are you getting on now, my dear?” it continued,
turning to Alice as it spoke.
“As wet as ever,” said Alice in a melancholy tone: “it doesn’t seem to
dry me at all.”
“In that case,” said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, “I move
that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic
remedies—”
“Speak English!” said the Eaglet. “I don’t know the meaning of half
those long words, and, what’s more, I don’t believe you do either!” And
the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds
tittered audibly.
“What I was going to say,” said the Dodo in an offended tone, “was,
that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.”
“What _is_ a Caucus-race?” said Alice; not that she wanted much to
know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that _somebody_ ought to
speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.