“Ah, well! It means much the same thing,” said the Duchess, digging her
sharp little chin into Alice’s shoulder as she added, “and the moral of
_that_ is—‘Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of
themselves.’”
“How fond she is of finding morals in things!” Alice thought to
herself.
“I dare say you’re wondering why I don’t put my arm round your waist,”
the Duchess said after a pause: “the reason is, that I’m doubtful about
the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?”
“He might bite,” Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious
to have the experiment tried.
“Very true,” said the Duchess: “flamingoes and mustard both bite. And
the moral of that is—‘Birds of a feather flock together.’”
“Only mustard isn’t a bird,” Alice remarked.
“Right, as usual,” said the Duchess: “what a clear way you have of
putting things!”
“It’s a mineral, I _think_,” said Alice.
“Of course it is,” said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to
everything that Alice said; “there’s a large mustard-mine near here.
And the moral of that is—‘The more there is of mine, the less there is
of yours.’”
“Oh, I know!” exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last
remark, “it’s a vegetable. It doesn’t look like one, but it is.”
“I quite agree with you,” said the Duchess; “and the moral of that
is—‘Be what you would seem to be’—or if you’d like it put more
simply—‘Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might
appear to others that what you were or might have been was not
otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be
otherwise.’”
“I think I should understand that better,” Alice said very politely,
“if I had it written down: but I can’t quite follow it as you say it.”
“That’s nothing to what I could say if I chose,” the Duchess replied,
in a pleased tone.
“Pray don’t trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,” said
Alice.
“Oh, don’t talk about trouble!” said the Duchess. “I make you a present
of everything I’ve said as yet.”
“A cheap sort of present!” thought Alice. “I’m glad they don’t give
birthday presents like that!” But she did not venture to say it out
loud.
“Thinking again?” the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp
little chin.
“I’ve a right to think,” said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to
feel a little worried.
“Just about as much right,” said the Duchess, “as pigs have to fly; and
the m—”
But here, to Alice’s great surprise, the Duchess’s voice died away,
even in the middle of her favourite word ‘moral,’ and the arm that was
linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the
Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a
thunderstorm.
“A fine day, your Majesty!” the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.
“Now, I give you fair warning,” shouted the Queen, stamping on the
ground as she spoke; “either you or your head must be off, and that in
about half no time! Take your choice!”