If then to the man in a high state of happiness existence is in itself
choice-worthy, being naturally good and pleasant, and so too a friend’s
existence, then the friend also must be among things choice-worthy. But
whatever is choice-worthy to a man he should have or else he will be in
this point deficient. The man therefore who is to come up to our notion
“Happy” will need good Friends.
Chapter X.
Are we then to make our friends as numerous as possible? or, as in
respect of acquaintance it is thought to have been well said “have not
thou many acquaintances yet be not without;” so too in respect of
Friendship may we adopt the precept, and say that a man should not be
without friends, nor again have exceeding many friends?
Now as for friends who are intended for use, the maxim I have quoted
will, it seems, fit in exceedingly well, because to requite the
services of many is a matter of labour, and a whole life would not be
long enough to do this for them. So that, if more numerous than what
will suffice for one’s own life, they become officious, and are
hindrances in respect of living well: and so we do not want them. And
again of those who are to be for pleasure a few are quite enough, just
like sweetening in our food.
But of the good are we to make as many as ever we can, or is there any
measure of the number of friends, as there is of the number to
constitute a Political Community? I mean, you cannot make one out of
ten men, and if you increase the number to one hundred thousand it is
not any longer a Community. However, the number is not perhaps some one
definite number but any between certain extreme limits.
Well, of friends likewise there is a limited number, which perhaps may
be laid down to be the greatest number with whom it would be possible
to keep up intimacy; this being thought to be one of the greatest marks
of Friendship, and it being quite obvious that it is not possible to be
intimate with many, in other words, to part one’s self among many. And
besides it must be remembered that they also are to be friends to one
another if they are all to live together: but it is a matter of
difficulty to find this in many men at once.
It comes likewise to be difficult to bring home to one’s self the joys
and sorrows of many: because in all probability one would have to
sympathise at the same time with the joys of this one and the sorrows
of that other.
Perhaps then it is well not to endeavour to have very many friends but
so many as are enough for intimacy: because, in fact, it would seem not
to be possible to be very much a friend to many at the same time: and,
for the same reason, not to be in love with many objects at the same
time: love being a kind of excessive Friendship which implies but one
object: and all strong emotions must be limited in the number towards
whom they are felt.