On the other hand, the advantages of friends in our prosperity are the
pleasurable intercourse and the consciousness that they are pleased at
our good fortune.
It would seem, therefore, that we ought to call in friends readily on
occasion of good fortune, because it is noble to be ready to do good to
others: but on occasion of bad fortune, we should do so with
reluctance; for we should as little as possible make others share in
our ills; on which principle goes the saying, “I am unfortunate, let
that suffice.” The most proper occasion for calling them in is when
with small trouble or annoyance to themselves they can be of very great
use to the person who needs them.
But, on the contrary, it is fitting perhaps to go to one’s friends in
their misfortunes unasked and with alacrity (because kindness is the
friend’s office and specially towards those who are in need and who do
not demand it as a right, this being more creditable and more pleasant
to both); and on occasion of their good fortune to go readily, if we
can forward it in any way (because men need their friends for this
likewise), but to be backward in sharing it, any great eagerness to
receive advantage not being creditable.
One should perhaps be cautious not to present the appearance of
sullenness in declining the sympathy or help of friends, for this
happens occasionally.
It appears then that the presence of friends is, under all
circumstances, choice-worthy.
Chapter XII.
May we not say then that, as seeing the beloved object is most prized
by lovers and they choose this sense rather than any of the others
because Love
“Is engendered in the eyes,
With gazing fed,”
in like manner intimacy is to friends most choice-worthy, Friendship
being communion? Again, as a man is to himself so is he to his friend;
now with respect to himself the perception of his own existence is
choice-worthy, therefore is it also in respect of his friend.
And besides, their Friendship is acted out in intimacy, and so with
good reason they desire this. And whatever in each man’s opinion
constitutes existence, or whatsoever it is for the sake of which they
choose life, herein they wish their friends to join with them; and so
some men drink together, others gamble, others join in gymnastic
exercises or hunting, others study philosophy together: in each case
spending their days together in that which they like best of all things
in life, for since they wish to be intimate with their friends they do
and partake in those things whereby they think to attain this object.
Therefore the Friendship of the wicked comes to be depraved; for, being
unstable, they share in what is bad and become depraved in being made
like to one another: but the Friendship of the good is good, growing
with their intercourse; they improve also, as it seems, by repeated
acts, and by mutual correction, for they receive impress from one
another in the points which give them pleasure; whence says the Poet,