--A correspondent wants to know if "fits are hereditary." Any small boy, compelled to wear out his father's old clothes, could tell him they are not. --There are many shoots in a park of artillery. --"What are you doing?" demanded a furniture dealer of his clerk, who upset an extension table. "I'm only turning over a leaf, sir." [Illustration: TWO KINDS OF HIDING.] --City Dame (in the country): "Boy, can't you get me some cat-tails?" Country Boy: "Yes'm. Long ones?" City Dame: "Oh, long or short, whichever are the prettier!" Boy: "Well, mum, I guess I'd better just bring you the cats, an' you can cut the tails off to suit yourself." A Mean Swindle. --Mistress: "Did you ask for milk bread?" Domestic: "Yes, mum." "What a miserable little loaf they gave you!" "Yes, mum. It's my opinion, mum, that that baker is using condensed milk." --"What's the matter with you to-day, Tommy? You seem to be uneasy." "I am," said the bad little boy. "Yesterday was pa's and ma's wooden wedding, and all the neighbors sent 'em shingles." --A square meal generally costs a round price. --The pupil of the eye is incessantly lashed. --Mrs. Pennifeather: "Goodness gracious! I wonder what in the world has become of all my tarts?" Mr. P.: "Where did you put them?" Mrs. P.: "Right on the window-sill here." Mr. P.: "That accounts for it. You have carelessly exposed them to the son." --It is his exalted position that makes the weather cock vane. --Father (severely): "My son, this is a disgraceful condition of affairs. This report says you are the last boy in a class of twenty-two." Henry: "It might have been worse, father." Father: "I can't see how." Henry: "There might have been more boys in the class." --Sunday School Superintendent: "Who led the children of Israel into Canaan? Will one of the smaller boys answer?" No reply. Superintendent (somewhat sternly): "Can no one tell? Little boy, on that seat next to the aisle, who led the children of Israel into Canaan?" Little Boy (badly frightened): "It wasn't me. I--I jist moved yere last week f'm Missoury." --The concave mirror is not exactly a humorist, but it makes some very amusing reflections. --"Boy, I read in your eyes that you have told a lie." "Papa, that is impossible. You cannot read without spectacles." --Sauso: "Why did you yell 'Stop thief!' at the man who was running toward the railroad station?" Rodd: "I saw that he was going to take a car." --A chilly salutation-- "Shake!" --Weeks: "I'm afraid Brown is not very steady. I don't think he will stick to his business." Wentman: "Oh, yes he will. You forget he is working in a glue factory." --"Do you distrust fat men, captain?" "Well, no," returned the old sea-dog, "not exactly; but I always give them a wide berth."