Robert Orange: Being a Continuation of the History of Robert Orange
Thomas Hobbes · en
very strength and kept till that hour in strict silence, lest in the
torrent of feeling it should say too much. The love to which he had long
since surrendered himself now had complete possession of him. He spoke
as he had never spoken before--as he never spoke again. The storm was
restrained, subservient possibly still, but it was there, not to be
forbidden, denied, or gainsayed. One has to be very strong in order to
support the realisation of a long deferred, almost abandoned, hope.
Affliction seems to intensify a personality, adding to it a
distinctness, a power altogether commanding and irresistible, but even
in our purest happiness we lose something of ourselves, and become,
momentarily at least, less our own masters, and more pliant to the
reproof of chance, the sport of destiny. As Robert uttered his
passionate confession, he was conscious that much in him which had once
seemed strong was conquerable enough, and, in the torture of the
indescribable variety of vague, menacing feelings which this suspicion
called forth, he revolted against the influence which held him, which
left him neither liberty, nor security; which, for a few days of mad
exultation, cost him a thousand bewildering, desolating fears. Did he
guess that when one most eagerly desires happiness, one is most near to
it? Already, he remembered, with a sudden pallor, and a sharp
contraction of the lips, that death, in time, would certainly claim both
of them, and his soul was pierced at the thought, for nothing seemed
imaginably so perfect as the wild gladness of that poor human hour then
gliding, with pitiless beats, toward the past. Already the moon had
ceased to weave her magic; the sun rose over the unrebukable sea, and
the distant coast, obscured in a purple vapour, seemed but a line of
darkness against the flushed horizon. The sky was grey, opalescent in
the north, tenderest green and azure in the east, while large,
motionless clouds, as blue as vine-clad hills, shadowed in great
clusters the vast canopy. But if the dawn of day wrought a progressive
disenchantment of the dreamer, Robert felt with the recurrence of the
morning the usual prayer rise to his lips in a long weeping,
inarticulate cry to God--"Thou knowest that I love Thee: Thou knowest
that all my life is but a desire of Thee: Thy Will, not mine." And he
heard again the promise: "_Thou art My servant, I have chosen thee, and
not cast thee away. Fear thou not, for I am with thee: be not dismayed,
for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee: yea, I will help thee._" As
the silent disquietude of night gave place to the intense tranquillity
of day, the impenetrable secret of life, though still profound,
unviolated, and eluding, was hidden in a shining, though not a blinding,
mist. Was night less night because it paled gloriously before the sun?
Was day less day because it darkened into evening? Was joy a false thing
because it passed? Did not sorrow pass also? If that sweet journey was