A Woman's Burden: A Novel — David Hume — John Shaqi
A Woman's Burden: A Novel
David Hume · en
"This," she replied passionately, "that my feelings threaten to upset
your scheme--that is what I complain of. If this marriage were one of
cold calculation, if I had but to play my _rôle_ of adventuress, and
marry your nephew, perhaps I could do it, and perhaps from a sense of
duty I could make him a better wife than Miss Marsh is likely to do. But
I----" She paused, and dropped her voice to a lower tone. "But I already
have a--a very sincere regard for Mr. Arkel."
"All the better; it will be so much the easier for you to carry out your
part of the bargain."
"No," Miriam rose grandly. "As an instrument for the sake of Jabez, I
was willing to be used, but as a woman--a woman who feels, who, as I
tell you, already has a feeling of respect, of regard, of----No, Mr.
Barton, I will not consent to marry him, unless--unless, perchance,
things should come about differently."
"What about Jabez then, and his new life in America?"
Miriam's head sank, and she clasped her hands together with a gesture of
pain.
"I don't know--I must think--I must consider myself as well as Jabez. He
has brought me low enough as it is without my sacrificing my last shred
of womanly pride for his sake--anything but that. I would do much for
him. Yes, I may as well confess it, I love Mr. Arkel; whatever you may
think of me, I love him. I suppose it is because you are such a
stone--because I hardly look upon you as flesh and blood--that I can
bring myself to say this to you. But it is true, true. You cannot
understand the birth of such a feeling in a woman's heart. But she knows
it, and cannot mistake it. I love Gerald Arkel. But I would not marry
him unless he loved me--no, not for thousands! That is why I say I wish
to leave, Mr. Barton."
"But, my good young woman, this is most extraordinary--you have hardly
seen the man. I should have thought you had a mind above the fascination
of good looks."
"His looks have nothing to do with it. But pray spare me. You cannot
understand. Consider my position, Mr. Barton. I have laid bare my soul
to you. I should love him were he ever so ugly--perhaps, who knows, he
may come to love me, though I can hardly believe such happiness will
ever be mine--there, now you know!"
"Would you tell him your past?"
"Yes, even at the risk of his shrinking from me in horror. I am not a
wicked woman, you know that, whatever my past may have been."
"Quite so. That is exactly why I want you to marry Gerald."
"But why, why?--me, a nobody, why should you want _me_ to marry him?"
Barton's brow gathered. He resumed his seat.
"I will tell you why in a very few words," he said grimly and savagely.
There was a look almost of insanity in his eyes. "It is because I seek
revenge--revenge against the woman who ruined my life--his mother!"
CHAPTER VI.
MRS. DARROW'S BOMBSHELL.
For a moment Miriam stood aghast at the man's abandoned confession of
his feelings. How anyone could nurse such venom in his breast it was
beyond her to conceive.