Monsieur Judas: A Paradox — David Hume — John Shaqi
Monsieur Judas: A Paradox
David Hume · en
_Witness_ (somewhat ruffled).--"Meaning the dead one, I presume, Mr.
Carr. Certainly, Mr. Carr; I was coming to that. He--meaning the dead
one--came here two days ago by the coach from Winchester. There is,
gentlemen, no name on his bag--there is no name on his linen--no
letters, no cards in his pockets--not even initials, gentlemen, to
prevent his clothes being stolen at the wash. He never mentioned his
name, Mr. Carr. I was going to ask him next morning, but he was dead,
and therefore, gentlemen, not in a position to speak. As far as I am
concerned, Mr. Carr, the dead one has never been christened. The
mystery--meaning the dead one--has no name that I ever heard of, and
was spoken of by me and my daughter (who may know more than her
father) as the gentleman in No. 37. I only spoke to the dead
one twice, Mr. Carr and gentlemen; once when I arranged about
terms--thirty shillings a week, gentlemen, not including wine--and
again when I asked him if he had enjoyed his dinner--soup, fish, fowl,
and pudding. Gentlemen, he had enjoyed his dinner."
_A Juryman_ (hungry-looking, evidently thinking of the dinner).--"Was
he cheerful, Mr. Chickles?"
_Witness_.--"Jocund, sir, if I may use the term. Merry as a lark."
Facetious juryman suggests wine.
_Witness_ (with mournful dignity).--"No, sir! Pardon me, Mr. Specks,
he had no wine while he was in this house. His explanation was a
simple one, gentlemen--wine did not agree with his pills--tonic pills,
Mr. Carr--one to be taken before bedtime every night."
_Coroner_ (with the air of having found something).--"Pills, eh? Did
he look ill?"
_Witness_.--"Not exactly ill, Mr. Carr; not exactly well, gentlemen.
Betwixt and between. Weak, sir. His legs shook, his hands trembled,
and when a door banged he jumped, gentlemen--jumped!"
_A Juryman_.--"Then I presume he was taking tonic pills for his
constitution?"
_Witness_.--"Well, yes, Mr. Polder, yes, sir. There is the box of
pills--tonic pills, as he--meaning the dead one--told me. Found in his
room, gentlemen--on the chest of drawers--after his death."
Inspection of pills by jury. Great curiosity evinced when pills (eight
in number) appeared to be like any other pills. The London detective,
however, secured the pill-box after inspection, and sat with it in his
hand thinking deeply.
Mr. Chickles, having given all his evidence, retired, with the full
consciousness that he had given it in a masterly fashion; and his
daughter, Miss Molly Chickles, plump, pretty, and a trifle coquettish,
was duly sworn. At first she was rather bashful, but having found her
tongue--a task of little difficulty for this rustic daughter of
Eve--told all she knew with many sidelong glances and confused
blushes--feminine arts not quite thrown away on the jury, although
they were to a man married and done for.
Said Molly, in answer to the Coroner: