The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities — David Hume — John Shaqi
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
│11│folk │Screaming voice of Betty cries: │ │
│ │ │"If you please, it's time to rise." │ △ ⚹ ☉ │
│12│joke │Up you start, and, on the sheet, │ │
│ │ │Find your breath is chang'd to sleet; │is very old:│
│13│in │Tow'rds the glass you turn your view, │ │
│ │ │Find your nose of purple hue, │ │
│14│grin │Looking very like, I trow, │ If no snow │
│ │ │Beet-root in a field of snow. │ │
│15│out │You would longer lie, but nay, │ ☿ ♄ △ ♂ □ │
│ │ │Time is come,—you must away. │ │
│16│shout │Out you turn, with courage brave, │ │
│ │ │Slip on drawers,—and then to shave! │ should │
│17│cram │Seize the jug, and in a trice, │ │
│ │ │Find the water chang'd to ice: │ chance to │
│18│ham │Break the ice, and have to rue │ │
│ │ │That you've broke the pitcher too. │ fall │
│19│jam │Water would not run before; │ │
│ │ │Now, it streams upon the floor, │ │
│20│dram │Threat'ning with a fearful doom, │ □ ☌ ⚹ ☉ │
│ │ │Ceiling of the drawing-room. │ │
│21│twelfth │In the frenzy of despair, │ │
│ │ │You seize you don't know what, nor care, │ then │
│22│night │Mop up all the wet and dirt, │ │
│ │ │And find you've done it with your shirt; │ perhaps │
│23│bright │Your _only_ shirt,—all filth and slosh,— │ │
│ │ │_For all the rest are in the wash._ │ │
│24│sight │Into bed you turn again, │ ☿ △ ♂ ☉ ⚹ │
│ │ │Ring the bell with might and main, │ │
│25│bake │Stammer out to Betty, why │ □ ♄ │
│ │ │'Twixt the sheets you're forc'd to lie, │ │
│26│cake │'Till, pitying your feelings hurt, │ │
│ │ │She dabs you out another shirt. │ no frost │
│27│nice │ │ │
│ │ │ │ │
│28│slice │ │ ☉ □ △ │
│ │ │ │ │
│29│twice │ │ │
│ │ │ │ at all. │
│30│quaff │ │ │
│ │ │ │ │
│31│laugh │ │ ♃ △ ☍ □ ♂ │