Though, touching Comets, Tycho Brahe, Kepler, Halley, Sir Isaac Newton, and others of that stamp, do deny their malign influence on mundane affairs, yet I, RIGDUM FUNNIDOS, holding in far greater reverence the wisdom of our ancestors, and the sage opinion of my renowned defunct predecessor, FRANCIS MOORE, do maintain, that they cast a sinister aspect on this terrestrial globe; yea, and do mightily, in a most adverse fashion, affect the same. Where-fore, I say, look, when the _Great Comet_ cometh, for a sufficient reason, in the coming thereof, for every thing which shall happen contrariwise; whether it be the falling of kings, or the falling of stocks; the quarrels of nations, or the squabbles of matrimony; the crash of empires, or the smash of crockery; the tyranny of despots, or the scolding of wives:—yea, I do say again, place them all to the account of the _Great Comet_. * * * * * Hereafter do follow sundry matters, both pleasant and profitable. ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY. MATRIMONY.—A highly respectable Gentleman, who has, for many years, distinguished himself as an important Public Functionary, is desirous of _haltering_ his condition, and tying the _knot_ of wedlock with a Lady of congenial sentiments. Having, himself, a very tender disposition, he stipulates for the same on the part of the object of his attachment; and as he is partial to _good spirits_, he hopes she will always have a stock. She must be duly impressed with a regard for the dignity of her husband's station, and must never associate with her inferiors, and whatever _pledges_ she makes, she must be careful to _redeem_. The Advertiser is not very particular as to personal attractions; and with regard to money, he has seen so many people in a state of _dependence_, that he merely trusts she will come provided against such an unpleasant contingency. On these conditions, which are the _gaol_ of his wishes, he will give the fair object of his affections her _full swing_, and be perfectly _resigned to his fate_. He anxiously looks for a _line_, addressed "JOHN KETCH, Esq., opposite the Debtors' Door, Old Bailey." N.B. The _Schoolmaster in Newgate_, who drew up the above advertisement, for his respected friend, Mr. Ketch, takes this opportunity of contradicting a report, which has been current for some time past,—that the Schoolmaster is _abroad_, which is quite _foreign_ from the fact. Arrangements were certainly made to that effect, which, had they been carried into execution, he would have been quite _transported_; but he regrets to state, that he is under the necessity of remaining at his old abode, the large stone house in the Old Bailey. [Illustration: FEBRUARY. ]