A new line of railway, direct to Windsor, will be sanctioned the earliest in the Session; in consequence, those who make a pilgrim's progress to the old station will find it literally the Slough of Despond. A bold member, moving that the statues for the new Senate of the sovereigns of England shall go up by order of merit rather than succession, will secure a tolerably good perch for Oliver Cromwell; and it is not unlikely that Byron's statue will take its place in Poet's Corner at the same time. Two new steamers, the _Emmet_ and the _Earwig_, will run between London Bridge and Chelsea six times for a penny. They will be greatly crowded in consequence. SERIOUS RAILWAY ACCIDENT.—A train will get off the line and run down an embankment into a farm-yard. MARCH. Several legal gentlemen will be expelled from one mess to get into another, for reporting cases; a plain statement of facts of any kind being against all professional morality. The press will, in consequence, turn round upon the bar; and the bar will get pretty considerably the worst of it. The inscription, "Tongues sold here," will be transferred from ham and beef shops to the chambers of honourable barristers. Such reform will be worked that a leading advocate will, perhaps, hang himself upon finding he has undertaken a wrong cause. The "Andover Commission" will be revived as the "Underhand Inquiry." [Illustration] Von Lumley will arrive from the Continent with a variety of singing birds, who will pipe Norma, Puritani, Don Giovanni, duets, arias, &c. TERRIBLE RAILWAY ACCIDENT.—A train going too fast will run over another going too slow, from neglect of signals. APRIL. The Shakspeare Jubilee Festival will be celebrated at the "only national theatre" on the 23rd, with the following performances:— "The Grand Opera of 'HAMLET:' the Music by Mr. Balfe; the _libretto_ by Messrs. Shakspeare and Bunn. "After which, a Divertissement; in which Mr. Delferier and Madame Giubelei will, as Romeo and Juliet, dance the Capulet Polka. Grotesque Pas de Caliban, from the 'TEMPEST,' by Mr. Wieland; and the celebrated Desperate Combat from 'RICHARD THE THIRD,' by Messrs. T. Matthews and W. H. Payne. [Illustration] "The whole to conclude with a New Grand Pantomime of 'HARLEQUIN MACBETH; OR, THE MAGIC CALDRON AND WALKING WOOD.'" From the Opera, the following song may be predicted to be sung by the first tenor, Hamlet:— [Illustration] "TO BE, OR NOT TO BE." "Oh say!—To be, or not to be? That is the question grave; To suffer Fortune's slings and darts, Or seas of troubles brave. To die; to sleep! perchance, to dream!— Ay, there's the rub!—when we Have shuffled off this mortal coil!— To be, or not to be!