The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities — David Hume — John Shaqi
The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
Sow acorns in pots, with a view to future timber; and plant out young
oaks in mignonette boxes. Sell off your pork, if you have any on hand;
and, if you have a live pig, it will be better to go the whole hog and
get rid of it at once, for the sale becomes doubtful as the summer
advances.
PROVINCIAL THEATRICALS.
Mr. Doublethrust, who had long occupied the honourable position of
second cut-throat on the national boards, finding that the managers had
taken to cutting each others' throats, and consequently left nothing for
him to do, got together a select company for the purpose of performing
Shakspeare in the provinces. Having arrived at a small village in the
north, he became lessee of a barn, and advertised to open it "on the
principle of the national theatres," the latter having been frequently
conducted in a style worthy of the former, so that there was nothing
really new in the combination. The season was announced to commence with
MACBETH,
=From the Text of Shakspeare:=
Followed by
A NAVAL HORNPIPE,
=From the Text of T. P. Cooke:=
Preceded by
AN ADDRESS,
Written expressly for the occasion, by the
PRESIDENT OF THE LOCAL INSTITUTION FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF
SCIENCE.
The barn was crowded; and the leading family in the village occupied the
threshing machine, which was fitted up as a private box. The national
anthem was played on a bird organ, the whole company standing;
immediately after which Mr. Doublethrust spoke the Address, from which
we give an extract:—
[Illustration:
Private Box.
]
[Illustration:
A Star.
]
"Shall Shakspeare to the wall unheeded go?
A hundred thousand echoes answer—No!
But shall the local talent be neglected?
No! that at least shall be by us protected.
We'll cultivate the village poet's fame,
If Jones, or Smith, or Tomkins be his name."
1844.] APRIL.
[Illustration: T]
"ALL HAIL, MACBETH!"
THE cheering here was tremendous, there being in the village three young
men with the names mentioned, each having high pretensions to literary
distinction. The Jonesites were vehement in their applause; but the
Tomkinsonians were not to be outdone; and the Smithians being thus
worked up to an enthusiastic pitch of excitement, it was some time
before Mr. Doublethrust could proceed with the address he was speaking.
The following were the concluding lines, which elicited the most
rapturous shrieks ever heard within an English barn, or indeed beneath a
British weathercock:—
[Illustration:
Drawing a House.
]
[Illustration:
A Moving Address.
]