The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities — David Hume — John Shaqi
The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
Whereupon the Signor in the cloak informed Goffoni that, finding himself
rather short of cash, he had requested the loan of some gold from a
drover whom he had met that evening in the forest; but that the drover
had not only in the most un-gentleman-like manner refused to accommodate
him, but had even been base enough to doubt the honesty of his
intentions. That this had so exasperated him in the cloak that he had
knocked the scoundrel down, and borrowed of him all the money he
possessed. That the cries of the drover had brought the soldiers to his
assistance, when the Signor in the cloak was obliged to run for his
life; but that in his flight he had dropped his hat on the road. That he
had only just succeeded in avoiding his pursuers by secreting himself
behind that stone, when Signor Goffoni had come up and seated himself
upon it. "However," added he, "the soldiers can't be far off; and when
they find I've given them the slip they will be certain to return, for I
know them of old. So that, you see, what I want of you now, my friend,
is, should the rogues come this way again, and question you about that
nonsensical piece of business, that you'll just have the kindness—since
it can't make any difference to you in your present situation—to say you
did it."
Goffoni, when he heard what was required of him, hardly liked the office
he had undertaken to perform. But as it certainly could not make any
difference to him in his present situation, and as he had given his
promise, he told the gentleman in the cloak he would be as good as his
word and say he did it. The stranger thanked Goffoni heartily, called
him his preserver, and many other equally complimentary names, and was
about hurrying off, when a sudden thought detained him, "Stay!" he
exclaimed, "this cloak will make your confession all the more veritable,
while the possession of the identical purse I took from that rascally
drover will put the affair beyond the shadow of a suspicion." And so
saying, he threw the one hastily over the back of Goffoni, and, having
divested the other of its contents, slipped the empty leathern bag into
the breeches-pocket of that poor gentleman, who, by this time, lay
writhing on his stomach, under the painful effects of the deadly draught
he had swallowed.
"And now once more, Addio!" exclaimed the stranger, putting on the hat
of Signor G. as a substitute for the one he had dropped on the road;
"and mind!" he added, "I rely upon you to—say you did it!"
[SECOND TITTER, _page 147_.]
[Illustration:
BLIND BOY'S BUFF AT THE LADIES' SCHOOL.
]
[Illustration:
Bringing her up in the way she should go.
]
[Illustration:
The Heart Breaker.
]
[Illustration:
Getting her French by Heart.
]
A LETTER FROM "LA NATIVE DE PARIS," AT MISS THIMBLEBEE'S ESTABLISHMENT
FOR YOUNG LADIES, TO HER MOTHER IN YORKSHIRE.
"Belle Vue House, Blackheath, Judy Swore.