We have inquired everywhere—we have offered any sum of money—we have begged and prayed of newsvendors and friends, and bookstall-hunters, to buy us, at any price, the _Penny Whistle_; but we have not seen yet that fearful work of extermination. We now offer a reward of 100_l._, and our blessing, to anybody who will send us a copy of it, no matter how dirty it may be. We shall not be happy till we know positively whether we are smashed or not! THE RESPECTABLE MAN. A highly respectable Man Is Iscariot Ingots, Esquire, He's "Post Obits" on half the "Blue Book," And a mortgage or two in each Shire; And having more cash than he needs, Why he lends to the poor all he can, And only takes sixty per cent., Like a highly respectable Man. He's his house like a nobleman's furnish'd, His sideboard, too, blazing with plate, And half silver, half gold, you'd declare It belong'd to some peer of the State; So it did—till he seiz'd it in payment Of his sixty per centum per ann.; And now he gives dinners to show it, Like a highly respectable Man. His Father-in-law's an Attorney, And his Brother a Dealer in Wine, And his Brother-in-law's a Bum-bailiff, And his Son in the Auctioneer line; So first you've "half wine" for your Bills, Then are sued, seiz'd, sold up by the Clan; For he loves to assist his relations, Like a highly respectable Man. For the Assurance of Lives he's an Office, To make his small profits the more; If you ask him to discount, he tells you "For security you must insure." Adding "all honest men ought to do so— Besides it's so easy a plan, And with something to leave on your death-bed, You die _such_ a respectable Man." It is said he's a tyrant at home, That the jewels his Wife has for show, Were all of them salves for some wound— That each diamond's heal'd up a blow; That his Children, on hearing his knock, To the top of the house always ran— But with ten thousand pounds at his Banker's He's _of course_ a respectable Man. Yet he's kindness itself to young "bloods," And when Lordlings solicit his aid, Why he talks like a Father, and asks How is sixty per cent. to be paid? Such extravagance really would ruin The richest in all Hindostan; But to serve them he'll do a "Post Obit" Like a highly respectable Man.