The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities — David Hume — John Shaqi
The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
Lot 5.—A capital Guernsey Cow; a first-rate Spanish Guitar; two Breeding
Sows; and a lovely Chalk drawing of a "Brigand," by Miss Victoria
Hiceter.—(_Bought for £22 10 0 by Ensign Namby, whose features bore a
great resemblance to those of the Brigand._)
Lot 8.—Thirty sacks of prime Potatoes (Early Yorks); a patent Rat-trap;
a splendid Embroidered Cat; Wheelbarrow, never used; four ropes of
strong Onions; six dozen of the best French Cambric Pocket
Handkerchiefs; and a binocular Opera Glass.—(_Sold very cheap to a Gin
Spinner of the name of Baylis._)
Lot 22.—Capital Set first-rate Harness; several Embroidered Collars;
sixteen Hay Forks; three rows lovely Imitation Pearls; two bushels of
Buckwheat; nearly a peck of dirty White Kid Gloves (warranted cleaned
only twice); and a bunch of handsome False Ringlets.—(_Purchased by the_
_Rev. G. Hodder, who complained that some of the Kid Gloves would not
bear cleaning again._)
Lot 36.—Two pair of magnificent Top-boots; half an acre of fine Turnips;
one quart of Lavender Water; a sack of Oats; a dozen plump Geese; six
new Ostrich Feathers; and a bundle of blue Veils.—(_Sold to Mrs. Glyde
of the Rookery._)
Lot 54.—Magnificent Stuffed Spaniel (King Charles's breed); eight good
Spades; ditto Pitchforks; two beautiful Fancy Dresses (one Circassian
Slave, and one Mary Queen of Scots); several Vols. Italian Duets;
splendidly bound Family Bible (not much used); large Garden Roller; and
six loads strong Manure.—(_Knocked down to Lady Guy Tomlins, who had
brought her carriage to take them with her._)
BREACH OF PROMISE.
OGLES _v._ WINKIN.
On the day appointed for the trial of the wretched man MIKE WINKIN, the
rush of ladies was so terrific that, we regret to state, several highly
respectable females met with severe accidents. MRS. DE SMYTHE SMITH had
her bonnet completely crushed, and her body literally torn from her. She
was carried to a shop in the neighbourhood, where her head was
immediately dressed; her body, however, was found to be so injured that
it was thought advisable to take it off. MISS BEEVES, we are sorry to
say, also lost both her legs, they having been taken from under her in
the scuffle.
The greatest praise is due to MRS. INSPECTOR DAKIN of the T division,
who kept up a constant and strong supply of that body.
At ten o'clock MRS. SERJEANT BLUBAG took her seat on the _fauteuil_. She
was attired in a robe of _poult-de-soie rose_, trimmed with _peau de
lapin blanc garnie de demi queue de chat noir_, and with her hair _au
cactus_. On the "devotionals" beside her were seated the MISSES JUSTICE,
TRACTS, and GRUEL.
The prisoner on being brought in was assailed with cries of "You brute!
Oh, you brute!" which drowned the call of Miss Asthma the usher, for
"Silence, my dears! Pray, silence, my dears!"