The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
BLOOMERISM IN FULL BLOW.
The ladies are about to turn over a new leaf, a leaf in the matter of
costume, unprecedented since the days of the fig leaf. Petticoats are to
join hoops and farthingales; and long skirts, having long swept all
before them, are now, in their turn, to be swept into the limbo of all
the vanities.
Of course, now, breeches, trowsers, and all their synonymes, will no
longer be forbidden words. The tribes of the "unmentionables" and the
"unwhisperables" have had their day. We observe, however, that certain
pretty modifications of the original terms are recommended, and we are
told to choose between "Pantilettes and Pettiloons". But why not call
the objects in question "trowser-ettos", or, if an Americanized phrase
be thought appropriate, "limb envelopers" or "understanding swathers,"
might be advantageously adopted.
It is, of course, to be anticipated that the reformed costume will
spread upwards, as well as downwards, in society; giving us an
opportunity of reading, on the morrow of the first ensuing drawing-room
day, that "Her ladyship wore a splendid pair of loud satin pants, of
deep purple, with a double broad yellow stripe running down the leg, and
new patent elastic straps, tastefully embroidered with gold." At the
same time, as it is inherent in the nature of things, that pantaloons
have to be kept up at the waist as well as down at the ankle, we shall
expect to see advertised "The ne plus ultra ladies' braces," and the
"Better than new plus ultra feminine suspenders."
One dreadful question remains unsolved: it looms upon us as we approach
it, and the nerveless pen splutters in the nib. However, we will make
the effort, and state the problem: Given—a horse, and a lady about to
ride it. The lady is in Bloomer costume—the horse fully caparisoned for
a lady in Bloomer costume. Query: Will the horse have two stirrups; one
on the near side, the other on the off?
What the parks and public gardens will be we have confidently and
fearlessly set forth. The mothers, daughters, grand-aunts,
second-cousins, and great-grand-nieces of England, may be expected, one
and all, to abjure the ancient faith of furbelows and flounces. _Cedunt
arma togæ_, says our old Latin grammar, which literally translated,
means, "Arms yield to the gown;" but now the gown has had its day, and
in its turn, yields—not to arms, however, but to legs. Long was the
reign of the proverbialized petticoat; but, like the speech of a prosy
orator, it has been interrupted by the imperative cry of "cut it short."
Still we will not complain, even though Bloomerism may take a step still
further, may aspire to Hessians with tassels, may dare to sport tops.
For, as was sagely remarked by the American editor "Why, if female
society be pronounced a humanizing agency, should we not endeavour to
see as much of the ladies as possible?"
[Illustration:
_The "Bloomers" in Hyde Park, or an Extraordinary Exhibition for 1852_
]
[Illustration: