They say she didn't go by wind, But wheels, and springs, and ratches; And that's the way she weathered on Our quickest going yatches. But them's all lies, I'm bound to say— Although they're told by batches— 'Twas build of hull, and cut of sail, That did for all our yatches. But novelty, I hear them say, Some novelty still hatches! The Yankee yatch the keels will lay Of many new Club yatches. And then we'll challenge Yankee land, From Boston Bay to Natchez, To run their crackest craft agin Our spick and span new yatches. MODES OF ADDRESSING PERSONS OF VARIOUS RANKS. (BY OUR FAST PROFESSOR.) _A Duke, or other Titled Person._ "Now, old Strawberry-Leaves;" or, as the case may be. An _Earl_ carries Five Balls, and a _Baronet_ a Bloody Hand, which naturally points out the mode of addressing the bearers. A _Bishop_ is gratified by being addressed as "Old Shirt-Sleeves." If the ecclesiastic wears spectacles, it is _de rigueur_ to add, facetiously, that you observe his is not a "See Sharp." An _Archdeacon_ you will, of course, call "Archy;" and a _Rural Dean_ you will address as "My Rustic." The _Clergy_, as a body, you will speak of as the "White Chokers." The _Lay Aristocracy_ are simply styled "The Nobs." Attention to this rule is requested. An irreverent young reporter (from Ireland) having recently incautiously asked an official of the House of Lords "who that Buffer was?" (indicating a nobleman who was speaking,) was solemnly answered: "Sir, we have no Buffers here; they are all Peers of the Realm." _A Police Magistrate._ Before you are fined—"My Lord;" "Your Worship;" "Your Reverence;" "Your Excellency;" "Your Majesty;" or whatever title of honour comes readiest to your tongue. After Justice has done her worst, you will merely allude to your enemy as the "Beak." _Your Father._ Speaking _to_ him, say, "Guvnor," or "Old Strike-a-Light;" of him, "The Old 'Un." _A Tradesman._ Your address in this case will depend upon the state of accounts between yourself and the party spoken to; but an easy familiarity should generally be preserved; and it is a good rule, if you wish to please a tradesman, to call him by a name, or make some allusion, derived from the trickery of his particular trade. A _Grocer_ you will call "Young Chicory;" or, if a female, "Mrs. Beans." A _Sausage Vendor's_ shop you will enter playfully imitating the cry of the itinerant merchant who supplies daily food to the canine and feline menial. And a _Woollen Draper_ you should salute with, "Well, Devil's Dust."