Whom God Hath Joined: A Question of Marriage — David Hume — John Shaqi
Whom God Hath Joined: A Question of Marriage
David Hume · en
Sir Guy, according to his cynical cousin, was a handsome young fellow,
with three ideas of primitive simplicity in his head, namely,
shooting, hunting, and dining. Quite of the orthodox English type,
according to the Gallic "it's-a-fine-day-let-us-go-and-kill-something"
idea, so Otterburn, having met many such heroes of sporting instincts,
asked no more questions regarding the gentleman, but being moved by
the inevitable curiosity of man concerning woman, put the three
orthodox questions which form a social trinity of perfection in
masculine eyes.
"Is she pretty?"
Silence on the part of Mr. Eustace Gartney.
"Is she young?"
Still silence, but the ghost of a smile on the thin lips.
"Is she rich?"
Oracle again mute, whereupon the exasperated worshipper queries more
comprehensively:
"Then what is she?"
Vague, enigmatic answer of the oracle:
"She is an Incomplete Madonna."
Otterburn stared in puzzled surprise at this epigrammatic response to
his boyish cross-examination, and after a bewildered pause burst out
laughing.
"You're too deep for me, Gartney," he said at length, blowing a cloud
of thin blue smoke. "I don't understand that intellectual extract of
beef wherein the qualities of one's friends are boiled down into a
single witty phrase."
This reply pleased Eustace, especially as he was conscious of having
said rather a neat thing, so glancing out into the brilliant world of
sunshine to see how far they were from their destination, he lighted
another cigarette and explained himself gravely:
"I am very fond of ticketing my friends in that way, as it saves such
a lot of trouble in answering questions; if you asked me what I should
like in my tea, I should not answer 'the sweet juice of cane
crystallized into white grains.' No! I should simply say 'sugar,'
which includes all the foregoing; therefore when you ask me to
describe Lady Errington, I say she is an incomplete Madonna, which is
an admirable description of her in two words."
"This," remarked Otterburn, somewhat annoyed, "is a lecture on the use
and abuse of epigrams. I don't want to know about epigrams, but I do
want to know about Lady Errington. Your two-word description is no
doubt witty, but it doesn't answer any of my questions."
"Pardon me, it answers the whole three."
"I don't see it."
"Listen then, oh groper in Cimmerian gloom. You ask if Lady Errington
is young--of course, the Madonna is always painted young. Is she
pretty? The Madonna, as you will see in Italian pictures, is
absolutely lovely. Is she rich? My dear lad, we well know Mary was the
wife of a carpenter, and therefore poor in worldly wealth. Ergo, I
have answered all your questions by the use of the phrase incomplete
Madonna."
"A very whimsical explanation at best, besides, you have answered more
than I asked by the use of the word incomplete--why is Lady Errington
incomplete?"
"Because she is not yet a mother."