That night, until dawn, Godfrey read the manuscript, a document of
soul-gripping interest. It was neither an _apologia pro vita sua_, nor
a breast-beating _peccavi_ cry of confession; but a minute analysis of
every remembered incident in the relations between his family and
himself from the first pragmatical days of his wedding journey. And
judicially he delivered judgments in the terse, lucid French form.
"Whereas I, etc., etc...." and "whereas my wife, etc.,
etc...."--setting forth and balancing the facts--"it is my opinion that
I acted arrogantly," or "uncharitably," or "cruelly." Now and again,
though rarely, the judgments went in his favour. But invariably the
words were added: "I am willing, however, in this case, to submit to
the decision of any arbitrator or court of appeal my children may think
it worth while to appoint."
The last words, scrawled shakily in pencil, were:
"I have not, to my great regret, been able to bring this record
up-to-date; but as I am very ill and, at my age, may not recover, I
feel it my duty to say that, as far as my two years' painful
examination into my past life warrants my judgment, I am of the opinion
that my wife had ample justification for the terms she employed
regarding me in her will. Furthermore, if, as is probable, I should
die of my illness, I should like my children to know that long ere this
I have deeply desired in my loneliness to stretch out my arms to them
in affection and beg their forgiveness, but that I have been prevented
from so doing by the appalling fear that, I being now very poor and
they being very rich, my overtures, considering the lack of affection I
have exhibited to them in the past might be misinterpreted. The
British Consul here, who has kindly consented to be my executor,
will..."
And then strength had evidently failed him and he could write no more.
The next morning Godfrey related to his sister what he had read and
gave her the manuscript to read at her convenience; and together they
went to the hospital and obtained from the doctor his somewhat
pessimistic report; and then again they visited the Albergo Tonelli and
learned more of the strange, stiff and benevolent life of Sir
Hildebrand Oates. Once more they mounted to the cold cheerless room
where their father had spent the past two years. Godfrey unhooked the
scourge from the nail.
"What are you going to do?" Sybil asked, her eyes full of tears.
"I'm going to burn the damned thing. Whether he lives or dies, the
poor old chap's penance is at an end. By God! he has done enough." He
turned upon her swiftly. "You don't feel any resentment against him
now, do you?"
"Resentment?" Her voice broke on the word and she cast herself on the
hard little bed and sobbed.
IX